Secret Meeting! Breaking the rules!
12.5.2k4
There is a wonderful game to play when you are out of your apartment, house, condo or shack. One merely has to be away from the computer or TV and out on the streets. The streets full of traffic are the key ... the game ... "Nice Dualie!" Here are the official rules, as conceived by the game founder ... me. (With help from Jimi Herald.)
A dualie is a pickup truck with a pair of dual wheels on its rear axle. It is a heavy duty pickup. It cannot be a tow truck or any other such "work" vehicle that has built-in tool chests along the sides of the truck bed. (Controversy surrounds this rule because Robot's brother is a world-class shit disturber and cannot accept the difference between a panel-truck (as described above) and, for example, a contractor's dualie that has the owner's logo on the doors.)
Scoring:
When one spots a dualie, one declares, "Nice Dualie," and one point is awarded. The dualie cannot be scored on again (if, for example, the dualie is parked on the street and one drives by it twice in a day.)
If two or more people declare, "Nice Dualie," roughly at the same time, the first to finish the phrase gets the point.
The first dualie scored THAT DAY counts as two points.
If the truck is red, two points are awarded.
A television commercial or program that features a dualie can be scored upon. (If the same commercial or program comes on a different TV, the dualie is fair game (Think Sports Bar).
If a non-dualie truck is declared "Nice Dualie," the declarist loses two points.
The point total resets each day.
Parked dualies count.
And there you have it. Enjoy!
Tonight we break TNSC rules in the Holiday Spirit and convene near a BART station in the East Bay - Radio Bar.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Happy New Year to all List Members!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Hoe Hoe Hoe
12.4.2k4
Will make it short and sweet: Happy Holidays to all y'all. The Founding Members and I know you likely have plans this week and may in fact be out of town, but as there are always those who would like to hoist a few anyway, so this week's venue is the TNSC's traditional holiday meeting place: The Owl Tree.
Please remember to choose both a favorite 2D and 3D owl. Rules are rules.
Wanna know who won my challenge to use a fringe cooking appliance - as seen in last week's Venue Announcement? No one. How is it that no one won, you ask? Simple. No one played. Fuck you all. The prize that could have been claimed by someone using their stick blender to make a milkshake lies unclaimed. And you know what? It was a million bucks. So ha ha, you just lost a million bucks. (Okay, really it wasn't a million bucks. I was more like a handful of crumpled ones and fives and some loose change I found around the house. Still, six-fifty is six-fifty.)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
12.4.2k4
Will make it short and sweet: Happy Holidays to all y'all. The Founding Members and I know you likely have plans this week and may in fact be out of town, but as there are always those who would like to hoist a few anyway, so this week's venue is the TNSC's traditional holiday meeting place: The Owl Tree.
Please remember to choose both a favorite 2D and 3D owl. Rules are rules.
Wanna know who won my challenge to use a fringe cooking appliance - as seen in last week's Venue Announcement? No one. How is it that no one won, you ask? Simple. No one played. Fuck you all. The prize that could have been claimed by someone using their stick blender to make a milkshake lies unclaimed. And you know what? It was a million bucks. So ha ha, you just lost a million bucks. (Okay, really it wasn't a million bucks. I was more like a handful of crumpled ones and fives and some loose change I found around the house. Still, six-fifty is six-fifty.)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
East End Boys, West Bend Grrrrls.
12.3.2k4
So, what ... are you going to move from place to place, city to city, state to state and haul around all them "fringe" appliances thinkin' YEH some day I am gonna make me some waffles on this waffle-iron my dear Auntie Myrtle gave me five Christmases ago and I used once? I AM going to get a bunch of carrots, celery, radishes, cilantro and what and use this JUICER I bought a fuckin' million years ago and used for a week? I, for one, am NOT going to move again and bring along them things if I don't be usin' them. So ... junk them? eBay? Craigslist? I got an idea! USE THEM! Justify their presence in yr home. Make it worth finding a box for them next time you call the moving co. to haul yr shit to yr new digs.
I was under the kitchen sink counting spiders the other day and spied my espresso machine. I thought, well shee-it. When's the last time I enjoyed a deluxe coffee at home? Took it out, cleaned it up, got some Peet's 'spresso and voila! RIGHT NOW I'm working on #3 homemade Americano. This weekend I'm gonna fire-up the Breadmaker. Last night I used the mixer and made some cookies. I challenge every one of you lovely List Members: Dust off that rarely-used appliance and use it. Fire me an email and lemme know what you cooked, juiced, fried, grilled, steamed or whatever. A prize will be awarded for the most esoteric submission. I alone will be the Judge. Bribes, as always, will be accepted.
Submit your cookery here.
Tonight - Sadie's Flying Elephant.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Great turnout last week. If you missed it, you suck!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
12.3.2k4
So, what ... are you going to move from place to place, city to city, state to state and haul around all them "fringe" appliances thinkin' YEH some day I am gonna make me some waffles on this waffle-iron my dear Auntie Myrtle gave me five Christmases ago and I used once? I AM going to get a bunch of carrots, celery, radishes, cilantro and what and use this JUICER I bought a fuckin' million years ago and used for a week? I, for one, am NOT going to move again and bring along them things if I don't be usin' them. So ... junk them? eBay? Craigslist? I got an idea! USE THEM! Justify their presence in yr home. Make it worth finding a box for them next time you call the moving co. to haul yr shit to yr new digs.
I was under the kitchen sink counting spiders the other day and spied my espresso machine. I thought, well shee-it. When's the last time I enjoyed a deluxe coffee at home? Took it out, cleaned it up, got some Peet's 'spresso and voila! RIGHT NOW I'm working on #3 homemade Americano. This weekend I'm gonna fire-up the Breadmaker. Last night I used the mixer and made some cookies. I challenge every one of you lovely List Members: Dust off that rarely-used appliance and use it. Fire me an email and lemme know what you cooked, juiced, fried, grilled, steamed or whatever. A prize will be awarded for the most esoteric submission. I alone will be the Judge. Bribes, as always, will be accepted.
Submit your cookery here.
Tonight - Sadie's Flying Elephant.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Great turnout last week. If you missed it, you suck!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Sex in a canoe, Pt. 2
12.2.2k4
Last week's rant left you with me sitting on my couch, watching Monday Night Football, eating cheesy Triscuts and drinking Miller Lite beer, having jettisoned Coors Light for political reasons. The first thing I did outta the gate with my new domestic light beer of choice was to royally fuck myself over: I sat there and drank, oh, 18 or so. Got rather shit-housed. Stayed up really late laughing and crying at the TV, cranking the iPod up to ten, smoking a pack of ciggys and generally having a one-man party.
The next morning I felt generally okay but I was in the dog house, cold-busted by my grrrrl for being an idiot and getting wasted all by myself (loser) and waking her up many times throughout the night (jerk). And you know? She was right. I got carried away and I had to deal with the consequences.
One way I delt with the consequences was that I invoked the "Refuse to Booze" option. It is what it sounds like: No Drinking. This did afford me, however, the opportunity to test the age-old expression about light beer: It's Fucking Close To Water. I drank water. Arrowhead bottled water. A lot of it. All day and long into the night. My conclusion? The adage is wrong. Light beer is only close to water in that it's a liquid and drinking lots of it makes you pee a lot. After drinking what roughly amounted to an 18-pack of water I didn't feel a goddamn thing.
Tonight - Thee Parkside.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Couple last things:
TNSC Robot's sister shamelessly self-promotes her upcoming HOLIDAY TRUNK SHOW. Just in time for Xmas. She says: You are invited to our Holiday Trunk Show on Sunday, December 12 from 12-8 p.m. at 800 Post Street @ Leavenworth, SF.
Thee Parkside, tonight's venue, was requested by a Longtime List Member who will be in attendance tonight after a protracted stint in Cananda. Come early to avoid the cover, which probably goes into effect at 9p ... and to see the MYSTERY GUEST. And no, it's not Santa.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
12.2.2k4
Last week's rant left you with me sitting on my couch, watching Monday Night Football, eating cheesy Triscuts and drinking Miller Lite beer, having jettisoned Coors Light for political reasons. The first thing I did outta the gate with my new domestic light beer of choice was to royally fuck myself over: I sat there and drank, oh, 18 or so. Got rather shit-housed. Stayed up really late laughing and crying at the TV, cranking the iPod up to ten, smoking a pack of ciggys and generally having a one-man party.
The next morning I felt generally okay but I was in the dog house, cold-busted by my grrrrl for being an idiot and getting wasted all by myself (loser) and waking her up many times throughout the night (jerk). And you know? She was right. I got carried away and I had to deal with the consequences.
One way I delt with the consequences was that I invoked the "Refuse to Booze" option. It is what it sounds like: No Drinking. This did afford me, however, the opportunity to test the age-old expression about light beer: It's Fucking Close To Water. I drank water. Arrowhead bottled water. A lot of it. All day and long into the night. My conclusion? The adage is wrong. Light beer is only close to water in that it's a liquid and drinking lots of it makes you pee a lot. After drinking what roughly amounted to an 18-pack of water I didn't feel a goddamn thing.
Tonight - Thee Parkside.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Couple last things:
TNSC Robot's sister shamelessly self-promotes her upcoming HOLIDAY TRUNK SHOW. Just in time for Xmas. She says: You are invited to our Holiday Trunk Show on Sunday, December 12 from 12-8 p.m. at 800 Post Street @ Leavenworth, SF.
Thee Parkside, tonight's venue, was requested by a Longtime List Member who will be in attendance tonight after a protracted stint in Cananda. Come early to avoid the cover, which probably goes into effect at 9p ... and to see the MYSTERY GUEST. And no, it's not Santa.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Sex in a canoe.
12.1.2k4
I was kickin' it, a couple weeks back, on a Monday night, watchin' football, eating zapped Triscuits with pepper jack and drinking beers. Not unlike, I'm sure, many, MANY red-blooded American robots around the country. This Monday night is of note, of course, because I had severly modified my beer-drinking choices. Goes like this: Since I was a wee-little robot, my beer of choice was Coors Light. I'm not positive why I started and continued with the Rocky Mountain brew but it had some things going for it. For one, the cool silvery can reflected the harsh desert sun of my youthful robotic beer-drinking days, thus serving as a built-in Coolie. Also, it was indeed SO light, one could drink large quantities of it and avoid a lot of the dehydrating effects of other beers. Simple, right? I thought so. For years.
Then one day, as I cracked open an ice-cold CL, a commie-pinko, tree-hugging liberal pal said, "Why the FUCK are you drinking that shit?" I thought that Johnny Dingle-seed was going to say the same-ol' "that ain't nothin' but piss-water. You had ought drink a real beer, like Sierra Nevada." But instead he said, "the Fucking Coors family are Republican scum. Why are you giving them your money?"
I thought on this long and hard. I came to a conclusion: Fuck it. At this time in my life I also bought and wore styles by the clothing designer Liz Claiborne. Seems ol' Liz was a reputed Satanist and gave much in financial backing to the Church of Satan or some such. I had already said, "fuck it," to that, figured that the shirt was pretty cool and while I ain't a Satanist, "fuck it, how bad can Satan be?" I felt the same was true for giving my money to the Coors Republican family. How bad could they be?
So time passes and while I had long ago given up on Liz-and-Satan shirts, I kept with the Coors and therefore the Republicans too. Then Election Day 2004 comes. I'm sitting there, on the same couch that I watch Monday Night Football, and I'm weeping into my fiftieth Coors Light of the night watching in horror at the returns. When suddenly the gubernatorial results come in from Colorado and Pete Republican Scum Coors Light has lost his race. Well, "good," I thought, and I glanced down at the Silver Bullet in my hand, then back at the TV as W took yet another state. I was a fool. I decided then and there that the Republicans were indeed MUCH WORSE than Satan and that I wasn't giving any more of my money to the Republicans by way of buying Coors beer.
I would buy Miller Lite and support Nelson Mandela.
(This story to be concluded next week.)
Tonight - Annie's.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Found my long-lost goddamn Palm Pilot the other day. Restored all the data (including the always handy "PalmaSutra") and ya know what I found? A list of TNSC venues from the OLD OLD days. On this date in 1999, the TNSC went to Cafe du Nord. As Lee Lee the Musical Bee is fond of saying, "Fascinating."
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
12.1.2k4
I was kickin' it, a couple weeks back, on a Monday night, watchin' football, eating zapped Triscuits with pepper jack and drinking beers. Not unlike, I'm sure, many, MANY red-blooded American robots around the country. This Monday night is of note, of course, because I had severly modified my beer-drinking choices. Goes like this: Since I was a wee-little robot, my beer of choice was Coors Light. I'm not positive why I started and continued with the Rocky Mountain brew but it had some things going for it. For one, the cool silvery can reflected the harsh desert sun of my youthful robotic beer-drinking days, thus serving as a built-in Coolie. Also, it was indeed SO light, one could drink large quantities of it and avoid a lot of the dehydrating effects of other beers. Simple, right? I thought so. For years.
Then one day, as I cracked open an ice-cold CL, a commie-pinko, tree-hugging liberal pal said, "Why the FUCK are you drinking that shit?" I thought that Johnny Dingle-seed was going to say the same-ol' "that ain't nothin' but piss-water. You had ought drink a real beer, like Sierra Nevada." But instead he said, "the Fucking Coors family are Republican scum. Why are you giving them your money?"
I thought on this long and hard. I came to a conclusion: Fuck it. At this time in my life I also bought and wore styles by the clothing designer Liz Claiborne. Seems ol' Liz was a reputed Satanist and gave much in financial backing to the Church of Satan or some such. I had already said, "fuck it," to that, figured that the shirt was pretty cool and while I ain't a Satanist, "fuck it, how bad can Satan be?" I felt the same was true for giving my money to the Coors Republican family. How bad could they be?
So time passes and while I had long ago given up on Liz-and-Satan shirts, I kept with the Coors and therefore the Republicans too. Then Election Day 2004 comes. I'm sitting there, on the same couch that I watch Monday Night Football, and I'm weeping into my fiftieth Coors Light of the night watching in horror at the returns. When suddenly the gubernatorial results come in from Colorado and Pete Republican Scum Coors Light has lost his race. Well, "good," I thought, and I glanced down at the Silver Bullet in my hand, then back at the TV as W took yet another state. I was a fool. I decided then and there that the Republicans were indeed MUCH WORSE than Satan and that I wasn't giving any more of my money to the Republicans by way of buying Coors beer.
I would buy Miller Lite and support Nelson Mandela.
(This story to be concluded next week.)
Tonight - Annie's.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Found my long-lost goddamn Palm Pilot the other day. Restored all the data (including the always handy "PalmaSutra") and ya know what I found? A list of TNSC venues from the OLD OLD days. On this date in 1999, the TNSC went to Cafe du Nord. As Lee Lee the Musical Bee is fond of saying, "Fascinating."
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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