Mongols and Angels
3.1.2k7

All things considered, long drives are not all that bad. Things can happen to make them bad, mind you, and those things don't have to be blown tires, running outta gas and multi-vehicle pile-ups - the obvious things that make drives bad. No, other things can foul a road trip.
For example, the Quicky Mart in the middle of nowhere has some halfassed facsimile of a SlimJim for sale rather than the real McCoy. I hate imposter SlimJims! Also: People who don't know how to drive on a highway will make it bad. These dopes camp out in the passing lane making everyone who needs to pass THEM pass on the right. That's never a good idea. Closely related are the fucking IDIOTS that either don't have or don't use their cruise control and do not maintain a steady speed. The guy will pull close and pass you, only to then slow and need to be passed himself. Then he wakes up and hits the gas. Back and forth over forty miles gets ya down.
The Nice Dualie game will make a long drive fun. As will an iPod adapter, a Thermos of coffee, a blanket for the missus and several of the aforementioned authentic SlimJims. A friendly guy behind the counter at the remote Quicky Mart is a treat too (most them folks are ornery).
I came across a friendly counterman just this past weekend at the Essex Oasis in the Mohave Desert 'round Laughlin way. There's a sign on his counter that says, "Pls do not complain to the staff about the price of the fuel! It's expensive to operate this shithole way out here, dig?" I had noticed that gas was nearly four bucks a gallon, but as I was getting kinda itchy about the needle's position on my gas guage, I didn't give a shit. I said, "ya get a lot of these California shitheads moanin' about the prices, eh?" He said, "you wouldn't believe. It costs us more to get it trucked here. We ain't robbin' anyone, we just gotta make our operating costs." I told him I get it, then I pointed out a fact: "Seems that all the rest of yr prices are pretty normal. Look here, SlimJims are 99 cents. Cokes are 75. Them buns or whatever in the case are probably two for a buck, huh?" He said, "They're THREE for a buck. heh. For you and yr lovely lady, though, I'll give ya FOUR for a buck." "Sold," I said, "and a handful of these SlimJims and a couple of Cokes."
The buns gave me gas.

Tonight - Brunos.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!

Entertainment tonight by Bud E. Luv hisownself: Plaids and stripes ... gotta keep 'em separated!

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!