M&M (Redux)

2.4.2018 (first posted this week 2002)

As a freelancer, I sometimes have spare time between paying gigs. I've got a lot to do on my own during this time, but I also cough up some of it to charitable causes. So far I've done volunteer work at the donut factory, the local brewery and the coffee roastery. I had to quit those places because they actually have paid docents who are very territorial. They've banded together into quasi-government states within the institutions, doling out assignments like NEA grants. One would have to submit a written proposal (of no less than 500 pages) and three years later would be forced to answer a battery of questions in front of their tribunal of Elder Docents. All of this to have the "privilege" to survey the employees' opinions about the recent switch from conical paper cups to flat bottom cups. Who the fuck can write 500 pages about that horseshit?

Anyway, like I said, I quit those joints, but recently I found the Mother-of-All-Volunteer-Gigs: Driving folks around in a little van. It's great! Most often I drive the little van around parking lots and help people find their cars. I'll be damned if I didn't learn an important life lesson soon after starting this: Most people who can't find their cars in a parking lot are in fact NOT drunk. This was a surprise to me. I don't have much exposure to parking lots to base my predisposed belief upon, but whenever I found myself in a big parking lot for, say, a mall, I would see dozens of people wandering around the lot looking for their cars. They all looked slightly dazed, confused, lost and, frankly, drunk. Now that I shuttle them around and talk a bit to them, it's revealed to me that they're mostly not drunk, but certainly forgetful.

The mall lot gig is good, but I've found a new gem. The neighborhood I live in here in SF (as are many in the city and in big cities in general) is a frikkin nightmare when it comes to parking. If you find a spot (and that's a big IF), you often need an airport shuttle to get you to the front door of where ever you're going, as it is fifty blocks away from where you found a spot.

Many of you savvy List Members can see this one coming. My new gig is to drive folks from their cars to their front doors. I started small, with only one or two clients, but word of mouth referrals pushed their number up into the high hundred fifties. And growing! It's really simple: Client Mary makes a quick once-over of the potential spots around her pad to no avail. She rings me on her cell and tells me where she's off to look and shortly thereafter I tuck in behind her Miata. When she finds a spot, she parks and I zip her back home. Easy-Peasy. And like I said, this is volunteer work, so I do it for nothing but gas money. In this tough economy, though, tips are appreciated.

Tonight - The Homestead

News: No news is good news. Welcome Lola and Heather.

Tonight’s Singled-Out List Members: Mary Haring, Jimi Simmons

Porn Title of the Week: Tender Tubbies

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!