Hook and blank. (REDUX)

6.4.2019  (first posted this week 2003)

So I got two water taps on the outside of the house. One in front and the other around back. I kept clothes-lining some of the flowers in the front with the hose as I dragged it around back to water the flowers and bushes and shit back there, so I bought a hose for the back. I got a short 25' hose that had a de-lux multi-headed nozzle included. I ... well ... hosed up the hose to the tap and commenced watering. I tried out the various sprays the new nozzle emitted. There were a couple good ones, some that I'd not soon use and lastly, a mist setting. That one was nice as it sprayed out a really fine, gentle mist. Good for misting the roses and the spiderwebs in the ivy. I noticed a really curious thing, though: While the sunshine through the mist should have created your classic rainbow, the rainbow through this mist was purple only. I thought what the fuck is up with this? I switched back to a normal sprayer and there's the classic ROYGBIV rainbow. Nope, I thought, I wasn't suddenly colorblind. Musta been some fluke or something. I switched back to mist and there's the purple-only rainbow again. WTF? I was really confused. Back to normal sprayer: ROYGBIV. Mist sprayer: Purple. Oh shit, something's is fucking wrong! I turned to look at the sun and there was my best friend Phil on a 12' ladder holding a big 'ol magnifying glass up to the sun. He blasted me right in the fucking eye with the concentrated sunlight and fucked up my vision but good. I heard, but didn't see, Phil laughing so hard he fell off the ladder and landed on the rosebush. Then we both laughed at each other, the unmistakable stench of roasted cornea still strong in the air. 

Tonight - Homestead


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!