12.3.2018. (first posted this week, 2000)
I ain't giving any presents fer xmas this year. Instead I figure I'm just gonna party. I was out pickin' up some Christmas paper and I'm thinkin' I need to start getting things to wrap up with this stuff. I'm makin' up a list of folks and there's quite a few people I'm figurin' I ought to be picking something up for, but nothin' is jumping right out at me. That's when I figure out the party deal. So simple. Party. And race. Party and race. Dog? Nope. Horse! Them are two things you can do at the same time: Party and race. So that's it. You want a Christmas present? Sorry. You want someone to party with? Cool. I'm yer man. You wanna go to the racetrack? That's cool too. Too bad there ain't any, like, car or motorcycle races going on around now. Or bike races. That's a full day of fun. Goin' to the mountain bike races. Oh yeah ... I'll go skating too. Party, racetrack and skate. I know a bunch of people are clearin' out for Christmas and all, but there are going to be people about to party. So that's it. Let's kick off the partyin' tonight!
The Homestead
** last "official" meeting of 2018 **
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Refrigerator Art. (Art majors not eligible.)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Rescue of the Andes Plane Crash Survivors. On this day in 1972, two members of the Uruguayan rugby team who had survived the crash of their plane in the Andes mountains led rescuers to the crash site and 14 more survivors. The plane had crashed ten weeks earlier and many passengers survived both the crash and the fierce conditions high in the Andes. These folks resorted to cannibalism to stay alive! Players: Raub plays the plane; Alan plays the Andes; Lori K. plays the fierce elements (!); Serena and Lisa W. play the two team members who led the rescuers to the crash site; Clova and Al play rescuers; Team Bjeldanes plays the dead folks and ... eeeewwww ... Bobo, Mark, Chef, Bishop, Jeremy, Robin, Sue, Dee and (nameless) play the CANNIBALS!
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Mr. and Mrs. Jim Rose. C'mon out.
Guess what? I used to rotate. Now I spin.
Lock them casters and climb on the TNSC experience! After all, it is the penultimate Y2K TNSC meeting! Bring a yule log and some mistletoe and knock back some nog. Bring yer pals, I know I will. See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Rummy (REDUX)
12.2.2018 (first posted this week 2006)
There are two things that happen every year:
1. The Chicago Cubs are eliminated from the post season. This is sad.
2. Honorary Founding Member Mathias Genser has a birthday. This is joyful.
#1 happens at various times throughout the year. Sometimes in August, sometimes in April. heh. Still sad.
#2 happens at a regular interval. Tonight! It happens tonight! Joy indeed!
Tonight - Iron & Gold (it's final days)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
There are two things that happen every year:
1. The Chicago Cubs are eliminated from the post season. This is sad.
2. Honorary Founding Member Mathias Genser has a birthday. This is joyful.
#1 happens at various times throughout the year. Sometimes in August, sometimes in April. heh. Still sad.
#2 happens at a regular interval. Tonight! It happens tonight! Joy indeed!
Tonight - Iron & Gold (it's final days)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 06, 2018
Cuckoo (REDUX)
12.1.2018 (first posted this week 2001)
Are you the kind of person that notices when spooky stuff starts to happen to you? I ain’t talking about startling stuff, like a door slamming because of the wind. I ain’t talking about full-on supernatural phenomena like a chocolate cake baking itself either. I’m referring to low-level spookiness. Give you an example.
Last year some time my bike light started to turn itself on in the middle of the night. I’ve got a cool bike rack that is not unlike a floor-to-ceiling stick with pegs to hang your bike, and I hung my bike on the upper of two pegs. Therefore my bike was head-high, if not shoulder-high. I got up late one night to hit the bathroom and blazing away in the pitch black (about head-high) was the little red blinky taillight on my bike. I thought this curious because I hadn’t ridden my bike that evening and hadn’t noticed the light on earlier that night. I switched the sucker off and went back to bed, the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp not quite getting through the fog of sleepiness.
I’ll tell you that the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp came home to poppa the next five nights in a row that it happened. A simple midnight bathroom visit turned into an exercise in spookiness. Why was that fucking light flicking itself on? How was it doing it … or … (and this is the truly spooky part) what entity unknown to me was flicking it on to spook me? Ghost? Goblin? Ghoul? Or was it just a mere haunted little red blinky bike light? I’ll never know now, ‘cause on night five I’d had enough and ripped that possessed bike light off my bike, threw open the kitchen winda and pitched that sucker into the black of night. Two things: The spooky bike light looked kinda pretty, sailing across the night shrouded Sutter Street, and, dang did my cats give me a strange look. A “the fucks got into daddy?” look.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment pays tribute to automotive history. Today in automotive history a National standard for license plates was adopted. Previous to 06 December 1955 states designed their own plates, the results being myriad variations. Fifty List Members will play the fifty states’ plates. Some standouts will be Marc Hochman playing Iowa’s pre-’55 plate, which was shaped like an ear of corn; Amy Gatzert playing Texas (a gushing oil well); and Dave Hindley playing Washington State (a Microsoft logo (them ancient-Washingtonians knew a lot about divining the future)).
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Mary Haring. There’s a picture of her on my fridge and it reminds me that she’s nice. Wonder what she’s up to?
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Porn Title of the Week Coordinator Tama coughed up a host of Christmas-related porn titles and here’s the first: Tits a Wonderful Life.
The dude on the radio said yesterday, “No rain until Sunday.” What an idiot. I’m pretty sure it rained all day yesterday. And he still has a job. Okay. See ya at the bar later. Bring yer pals. I’ll try. See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Are you the kind of person that notices when spooky stuff starts to happen to you? I ain’t talking about startling stuff, like a door slamming because of the wind. I ain’t talking about full-on supernatural phenomena like a chocolate cake baking itself either. I’m referring to low-level spookiness. Give you an example.
Last year some time my bike light started to turn itself on in the middle of the night. I’ve got a cool bike rack that is not unlike a floor-to-ceiling stick with pegs to hang your bike, and I hung my bike on the upper of two pegs. Therefore my bike was head-high, if not shoulder-high. I got up late one night to hit the bathroom and blazing away in the pitch black (about head-high) was the little red blinky taillight on my bike. I thought this curious because I hadn’t ridden my bike that evening and hadn’t noticed the light on earlier that night. I switched the sucker off and went back to bed, the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp not quite getting through the fog of sleepiness.
I’ll tell you that the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp came home to poppa the next five nights in a row that it happened. A simple midnight bathroom visit turned into an exercise in spookiness. Why was that fucking light flicking itself on? How was it doing it … or … (and this is the truly spooky part) what entity unknown to me was flicking it on to spook me? Ghost? Goblin? Ghoul? Or was it just a mere haunted little red blinky bike light? I’ll never know now, ‘cause on night five I’d had enough and ripped that possessed bike light off my bike, threw open the kitchen winda and pitched that sucker into the black of night. Two things: The spooky bike light looked kinda pretty, sailing across the night shrouded Sutter Street, and, dang did my cats give me a strange look. A “the fucks got into daddy?” look.
Tonight - Doc's Clock (numerous requests!)
** CASH ONLY**
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Mary Haring. There’s a picture of her on my fridge and it reminds me that she’s nice. Wonder what she’s up to?
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Porn Title of the Week Coordinator Tama coughed up a host of Christmas-related porn titles and here’s the first: Tits a Wonderful Life.
The dude on the radio said yesterday, “No rain until Sunday.” What an idiot. I’m pretty sure it rained all day yesterday. And he still has a job. Okay. See ya at the bar later. Bring yer pals. I’ll try. See you there!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Lima Bean (REDUX)
11.4.2018 (first posted this week 2001)
Back by pop-ee-lar demand, it’s the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement!! If yer one to pay attention, you might have noticed that two whole weeks have gone by with no VA! Ayiiiieee! I reckon that’s the first time that’s happened in more than two years! Ya, sure, there was a holiday in there, but we usually have a not-so-secret Secret Meeting at the Owl Tree. Who knows? Mebbe there was one. This Founding Member was not remiss in his duty to hoist one or two last Thursday, and I’m sure y’all did too. Turkey Day is a great opportunity to hoist several, you ask me. You need one or two merely to take the edge off the travel. Or if you didn’t travel, you had the cooking. Or the parents. Or the sibs. Or the In-Laws. Or the Dee-Troit RockCity Lions game. It usedta be the Bears always played on Turkey Day, but that seems to have gone the way of the Dodo. Anyway, I enjoyed my Thanksgiving drinks in a land far from my own, where the holiday is seldom celebrated, even then only by ex-Pats or tourists. I hoisted my beers in Peru!
Boy was it cool! The weather was great and the Incan ruins were neat. The beer down there is named after the city it is brewed in. For example, the city of Cuzco served Cuzquena beer and the city of Arequipa served Arequipena. I’m not sure why we’re not doing that up here. If yer drinkin’ beer in a foreign land while on vacation or business, it’s handy to have a reminder of what town yer in right in your hand. “Let’s see … are we in Lima? Ollayantytambo? Urubamba? Oh (looking at beer bottle), we’re in Puno! Mmmmmmmm … this Punoquena sure is good.” Anyway … the trip was really wonderful, despite the frustration of the language barrier. I don’t speak the Espanol very well at all. I can form crude sentences and ask and answer generic tourist-speak questions, but aside from that I’m not too good. I had a semester of the Espanol back when I was a freshman in college and only a bit has stayed with me in the fifty-or-so years since then. I made a mess out of communication, but I documented my clumsiness to share with you today. What follows are some of the Spanglish sentences I said, crammed back into English. In the cases where I didn’t know the Spanish word, I did what every silly tourist does, I did me some word fabrication.
Hello. I am to be liking some beers, please.
Why is that wall with mildew?
Is this water of the tap?
Please, where is the bar (barro) in that town?
Thank you, no more guinea pig.
They are not with me.
Is this the National fruit?
She is true.
What is it? Beans? OK!
Please to open this bottle.
I have fire in the caboose.
I cannot buy this for fifty soles (Peruvian money). Sixty. (Haggling up the price.)
My name is Melissa.
I figure I’ll take me another class then go back and apologise. And I already know where the bar is.
Tonight - The Homestead
News: One lovely list member had some problems and ended up going to Bing’s two weeks in a row because the VA had not changed. That is part Robots fault for not changing the page, but pls. be sure to note the date of the VA and if it’s last week’s date, it’s an old, outdated Venue Announcement. That said, sorry about the confusion.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: I would say that for Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment we will collectively reenact the 23 1/2 hours of travel time it took to get from Arequipa, Peru to SF, USA, but it sucked, so let’s not.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Jimi Simmons. A hell of a guy. Do you know him? You’re lucky if you do.
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Pimped by an Angel
I'm sure you all have a lot of great Turkey Day stories to tell. Tonight's venue is a great place to share the hilarity. And after a two week drought of NO meetings, I'm sure you're all dying. I know I am. So c'mon out! Bring yer bumpershoots and bring yer pals. I know I will. See you there. bye-ee!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Back by pop-ee-lar demand, it’s the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement!! If yer one to pay attention, you might have noticed that two whole weeks have gone by with no VA! Ayiiiieee! I reckon that’s the first time that’s happened in more than two years! Ya, sure, there was a holiday in there, but we usually have a not-so-secret Secret Meeting at the Owl Tree. Who knows? Mebbe there was one. This Founding Member was not remiss in his duty to hoist one or two last Thursday, and I’m sure y’all did too. Turkey Day is a great opportunity to hoist several, you ask me. You need one or two merely to take the edge off the travel. Or if you didn’t travel, you had the cooking. Or the parents. Or the sibs. Or the In-Laws. Or the Dee-Troit RockCity Lions game. It usedta be the Bears always played on Turkey Day, but that seems to have gone the way of the Dodo. Anyway, I enjoyed my Thanksgiving drinks in a land far from my own, where the holiday is seldom celebrated, even then only by ex-Pats or tourists. I hoisted my beers in Peru!
Boy was it cool! The weather was great and the Incan ruins were neat. The beer down there is named after the city it is brewed in. For example, the city of Cuzco served Cuzquena beer and the city of Arequipa served Arequipena. I’m not sure why we’re not doing that up here. If yer drinkin’ beer in a foreign land while on vacation or business, it’s handy to have a reminder of what town yer in right in your hand. “Let’s see … are we in Lima? Ollayantytambo? Urubamba? Oh (looking at beer bottle), we’re in Puno! Mmmmmmmm … this Punoquena sure is good.” Anyway … the trip was really wonderful, despite the frustration of the language barrier. I don’t speak the Espanol very well at all. I can form crude sentences and ask and answer generic tourist-speak questions, but aside from that I’m not too good. I had a semester of the Espanol back when I was a freshman in college and only a bit has stayed with me in the fifty-or-so years since then. I made a mess out of communication, but I documented my clumsiness to share with you today. What follows are some of the Spanglish sentences I said, crammed back into English. In the cases where I didn’t know the Spanish word, I did what every silly tourist does, I did me some word fabrication.
Hello. I am to be liking some beers, please.
Why is that wall with mildew?
Is this water of the tap?
Please, where is the bar (barro) in that town?
Thank you, no more guinea pig.
They are not with me.
Is this the National fruit?
She is true.
What is it? Beans? OK!
Please to open this bottle.
I have fire in the caboose.
I cannot buy this for fifty soles (Peruvian money). Sixty. (Haggling up the price.)
My name is Melissa.
I figure I’ll take me another class then go back and apologise. And I already know where the bar is.
Tonight - The Homestead
(Get out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini)
News: One lovely list member had some problems and ended up going to Bing’s two weeks in a row because the VA had not changed. That is part Robots fault for not changing the page, but pls. be sure to note the date of the VA and if it’s last week’s date, it’s an old, outdated Venue Announcement. That said, sorry about the confusion.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: I would say that for Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment we will collectively reenact the 23 1/2 hours of travel time it took to get from Arequipa, Peru to SF, USA, but it sucked, so let’s not.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Jimi Simmons. A hell of a guy. Do you know him? You’re lucky if you do.
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Pimped by an Angel
I'm sure you all have a lot of great Turkey Day stories to tell. Tonight's venue is a great place to share the hilarity. And after a two week drought of NO meetings, I'm sure you're all dying. I know I am. So c'mon out! Bring yer bumpershoots and bring yer pals. I know I will. See you there. bye-ee!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Fuzzy (REDUX)
11.3.2018 (first posted this week 2004)
Ya ever hear the expression: "Those that care a lot, swear a lot." ?? No? Well I just now made it up, so no wonder. But since you now have, think on it for a bit. I swear an awful lot and I care about a lot of things. So it's true. Ain't it?
Tonight - Stookey's Club Moderne
Ain't
Couple things: It's TNSC founding member John Metsker's birthday. Come early and celebrate!
Mr. Lucky and the Cocktail Party will be serenading us throughout the evening (7:30 - 10pm). There is no cover charge, but please consider a suitable offering to the artist and musicians as they pass the hat around.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Ya ever hear the expression: "Those that care a lot, swear a lot." ?? No? Well I just now made it up, so no wonder. But since you now have, think on it for a bit. I swear an awful lot and I care about a lot of things. So it's true. Ain't it?
Tonight - Stookey's Club Moderne
Ain't
Couple things: It's TNSC founding member John Metsker's birthday. Come early and celebrate!
Mr. Lucky and the Cocktail Party will be serenading us throughout the evening (7:30 - 10pm). There is no cover charge, but please consider a suitable offering to the artist and musicians as they pass the hat around.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 08, 2018
Charles Tillman (REDUX)
11.2.2018 (first posted this week 2007)
Ya may remember my post from a few weeks back listing the various things I see on my ride to work. I'm ever on the lookout for cars and other hazards, so it makes sense that I've got my eyes open. Open eyes this am revealed an ugly little poop-brown dog at the junction of an alley perp. to the street I was on. Approaching closer, I expected to see someone standing further down the alley - the ugly little dog's mommy or daddy. I saw neither. The ugly dog didn't look lost or scared or anything other than an unleashed dog out for a walk. "Where's yr ma?" I yelled to the dog as I passed. A block later I approached a young Asian lady in a robe and slippers. She was saying "EEE-NUFF !? !! ??" "EEENUFF!!" I got closer and found that she was in fact saying, "Pea-nut!! Pea-nut!" and looking around frantically.
I said, "You lookin' for a little brown dog?" She said yes.
"It's down the block past that chain-link and the alley," I said, and turned around to indicate further by pointing to where I saw the ugly little dog. She looked where I was pointing. "Down there?" she asked. "Yeah, right there ... wait ... there he is!" I said. The dog stepped out from behind the fence. "That ugly brown dog? Is that what you saw?" she asked, "that's not Peanut." I thought 1 lost dog +1 frantic owner equaled 1 happy reunion. Nope. All it equaled was another morning in the 'hood.
Tonight - Royal Cuckoo
Get your B-3 on!!! **CASH ONLY**
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Ya may remember my post from a few weeks back listing the various things I see on my ride to work. I'm ever on the lookout for cars and other hazards, so it makes sense that I've got my eyes open. Open eyes this am revealed an ugly little poop-brown dog at the junction of an alley perp. to the street I was on. Approaching closer, I expected to see someone standing further down the alley - the ugly little dog's mommy or daddy. I saw neither. The ugly dog didn't look lost or scared or anything other than an unleashed dog out for a walk. "Where's yr ma?" I yelled to the dog as I passed. A block later I approached a young Asian lady in a robe and slippers. She was saying "EEE-NUFF !? !! ??" "EEENUFF!!" I got closer and found that she was in fact saying, "Pea-nut!! Pea-nut!" and looking around frantically.
I said, "You lookin' for a little brown dog?" She said yes.
"It's down the block past that chain-link and the alley," I said, and turned around to indicate further by pointing to where I saw the ugly little dog. She looked where I was pointing. "Down there?" she asked. "Yeah, right there ... wait ... there he is!" I said. The dog stepped out from behind the fence. "That ugly brown dog? Is that what you saw?" she asked, "that's not Peanut." I thought 1 lost dog +1 frantic owner equaled 1 happy reunion. Nope. All it equaled was another morning in the 'hood.
Tonight - Royal Cuckoo
Get your B-3 on!!! **CASH ONLY**
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 01, 2018
No polling within 50 feet! (REDUX)
11.1.2018 (first posted this week 2000)
PROPOSITION TNDC
Shall the Thursday Night Social Club officially and finally change its name to the Thursday Night Drinking Club, and now and forevermore to be referred to by the initials "TNDC?"
THE WAY IT IS NOW: It's known as the Thursday Night Social Club.
THE PROPOSAL: Change it.
A "YES" VOTE MEANS: Change it.
A "NO" VOTE MEANS: Don't change it.
Former Unofficial TNSC Controller's Statement on "TNDC"
Former Unofficial TNSC Controller Mike "Rosey" Rosenberg has issued the following statement on the realistic impact of Proposition TNDC. Should the TNSC change its name to TNDC List Members would incur no financial responsibility at all. The Proposition doesn't have anything to do with money. It's a name change. It's semantics, really. Nothing to do about nothing. The real issue is being overlooked: That maps to meeting locations is vital for people who need hand-holding and should be required in the venue announcements. I propose a rider to the Proposition. Include a map in the venue announcement for the geographically challenged. Like myself.
How the Founding Members Voted on "TNDC"
Opposed: Susan "Dynamite" Smith, Alan "Mad Daddy" Chimenti, Josh "Cushy" Johnson
Abstaining: John "Trouble" Metsker
PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC
It's a drinking club. Call it what it is, people. Jesus.
-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation
REBUTTAL TO PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC
That's a stupid argument in favor.
-Tennessee Forever 2000
OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC
Some people don't drink at the SOCIAL CLUB, dipshits.
-Tennessee Forever 2000
REBUTTAL TO OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC
That's a stupid argument in favor. er, uh, against.
-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation
PAID ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC
The Founding Members are on dope and we've heard that barnyard animals have been seen leaving some of their homes late at night. Like people who torture dogs, these people are not to be trusted. Don't vote like they did.
-Paid for the Smear Tactics Worked in '88 Foundation 2000
PAID ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC
We have a legacy here, people, let's do the right thing and keep it real. Keep it at home. Keep it social.
-Paid for by the Keep It Real / Keep It Social Campaign 2000
Goddamn politicians. What the hell is that all about? How 'bout the foul-mouth on the Tennessee Forever 2000 group? Haven't seen that at the polls before. Somebody tell Rosey that riders go on bills, not props.
Ced's on the list. So are Al and Kelly Z. Lotsa folks are off. If yer still on, yer on forever! (Stop sweatin' Tellegen!)
The Governor wanted to close the bars for the election. I guess he thought that people would get smashed and then vote.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Bobo! Speedy recovery! We're thinking about you.
They're welding some crap across the street and this morning I accidentally looked at the arc. Now everything tastes funny. Is that supposed to happen?
Bring your favorite voter. Anybody having trouble sleeping at 2am like me? See you there! bye-ee!
Tonight - (the historic) Hotel Utah Saloon
(by request - special out-of-town guest!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
PROPOSITION TNDC
Shall the Thursday Night Social Club officially and finally change its name to the Thursday Night Drinking Club, and now and forevermore to be referred to by the initials "TNDC?"
THE WAY IT IS NOW: It's known as the Thursday Night Social Club.
THE PROPOSAL: Change it.
A "YES" VOTE MEANS: Change it.
A "NO" VOTE MEANS: Don't change it.
Former Unofficial TNSC Controller's Statement on "TNDC"
Former Unofficial TNSC Controller Mike "Rosey" Rosenberg has issued the following statement on the realistic impact of Proposition TNDC. Should the TNSC change its name to TNDC List Members would incur no financial responsibility at all. The Proposition doesn't have anything to do with money. It's a name change. It's semantics, really. Nothing to do about nothing. The real issue is being overlooked: That maps to meeting locations is vital for people who need hand-holding and should be required in the venue announcements. I propose a rider to the Proposition. Include a map in the venue announcement for the geographically challenged. Like myself.
How the Founding Members Voted on "TNDC"
Opposed: Susan "Dynamite" Smith, Alan "Mad Daddy" Chimenti, Josh "Cushy" Johnson
Abstaining: John "Trouble" Metsker
PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC
It's a drinking club. Call it what it is, people. Jesus.
-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation
REBUTTAL TO PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC
That's a stupid argument in favor.
-Tennessee Forever 2000
OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC
Some people don't drink at the SOCIAL CLUB, dipshits.
-Tennessee Forever 2000
REBUTTAL TO OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC
That's a stupid argument in favor. er, uh, against.
-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation
PAID ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC
The Founding Members are on dope and we've heard that barnyard animals have been seen leaving some of their homes late at night. Like people who torture dogs, these people are not to be trusted. Don't vote like they did.
-Paid for the Smear Tactics Worked in '88 Foundation 2000
PAID ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC
We have a legacy here, people, let's do the right thing and keep it real. Keep it at home. Keep it social.
-Paid for by the Keep It Real / Keep It Social Campaign 2000
Goddamn politicians. What the hell is that all about? How 'bout the foul-mouth on the Tennessee Forever 2000 group? Haven't seen that at the polls before. Somebody tell Rosey that riders go on bills, not props.
Ced's on the list. So are Al and Kelly Z. Lotsa folks are off. If yer still on, yer on forever! (Stop sweatin' Tellegen!)
The Governor wanted to close the bars for the election. I guess he thought that people would get smashed and then vote.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Bobo! Speedy recovery! We're thinking about you.
They're welding some crap across the street and this morning I accidentally looked at the arc. Now everything tastes funny. Is that supposed to happen?
Bring your favorite voter. Anybody having trouble sleeping at 2am like me? See you there! bye-ee!
Tonight - (the historic) Hotel Utah Saloon
(by request - special out-of-town guest!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Ska ... ? (REDUX)
10.4.2018 (first published this week 2005)
When I lived in Chicago the city's professional basketball team, the Bulls (perhaps you've heard of them), were very good and won the championship several years in a row. Back then I gave a crap about basketball and it was really exciting to watch the games and feel the tension mount in the city and be rewarded with a fun, city-wide celebration.
The day that the Bulls won their second straight title I was sitting in a bar (surprise) hours before gametime having a cold beer. In walked the neighborhood's plainclothed cops came in and asked the big Serbian bartender when he was closing for the night. He told them 5 a.m., which is the normal closing time for Chicago bars. The cops said, "No, what time are you closing tonight?" The barkeep looked confused. "5?" he said. The bigger of the two big cops said, "You don't understand the question so I'll say it again: What time are you closing TONIGHT?" Something dawned on the bartender. "3 a.m.?" he said. The cop leaned in and said, "What did you say?" "Um ... I think I'm closing at 1 a.m. tonight," said the bartender. I nudged my roommate and said, "We need to stock the fridge cuz all the bars will be closed." I thought about it. "Probably a good idea," I said, looking at the cops. They were satisfied and said to the bartender on their way out, "see you at 1." I think Mil closed up at midnight.
Later that night my sister and I were saved from an exploding M-80 by a stranger. My ears rang for weeks.
Tonight - The Homestead
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
When I lived in Chicago the city's professional basketball team, the Bulls (perhaps you've heard of them), were very good and won the championship several years in a row. Back then I gave a crap about basketball and it was really exciting to watch the games and feel the tension mount in the city and be rewarded with a fun, city-wide celebration.
The day that the Bulls won their second straight title I was sitting in a bar (surprise) hours before gametime having a cold beer. In walked the neighborhood's plainclothed cops came in and asked the big Serbian bartender when he was closing for the night. He told them 5 a.m., which is the normal closing time for Chicago bars. The cops said, "No, what time are you closing tonight?" The barkeep looked confused. "5?" he said. The bigger of the two big cops said, "You don't understand the question so I'll say it again: What time are you closing TONIGHT?" Something dawned on the bartender. "3 a.m.?" he said. The cop leaned in and said, "What did you say?" "Um ... I think I'm closing at 1 a.m. tonight," said the bartender. I nudged my roommate and said, "We need to stock the fridge cuz all the bars will be closed." I thought about it. "Probably a good idea," I said, looking at the cops. They were satisfied and said to the bartender on their way out, "see you at 1." I think Mil closed up at midnight.
Later that night my sister and I were saved from an exploding M-80 by a stranger. My ears rang for weeks.
Tonight - The Homestead
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Turkey (REDUX)
10.3.2018 (first posted this week 2001)
PalmPILOT let me down. I didn't know I had an appointment to pet and feed the cats at 4am. Surely I did, though, because they woke me up to remind me. They did it a bit less gracefully than PalmPILOT would have. PalmPILOT would have issued a polite "buh-da-beep, buh-da-beep," I would have blurrily read the display that said, "ALARM. 4am Pet/Feed Cats," and I would have petted and fed them. Fats and Mog, on the other hand, employed a slightly more invasive method of waking me: They stood on my head and howled. Ugh. The PalmPILOT's mode would have been preferred, but I guess I “forgot” to note the appointment.
Wouldn't that be great if you had a magic PalmPILOT that would schedule those difficult ones? I could see myself checking the calendar: "Lessee ... I got an appointment to get punched in the eye by some jackass at the park this Saturday." I'd look at that one and say, "uh, yeah. I think I'll be missing that." Or how about, “2pm, today, bump head really hard.” That would be great to skip. Then there are the bigger things: “Quit current job, get new one FAST; ride in NO cars today; do NOT eat that enchilada.” I’m sure that such a tricked out PalmPILOT would come in handy quite often.
(After all is said and done, I rather didn't mind getting woken up by the little jerks. I was having disturbing dreams about two people I don't care for who had shacked up together and dreams about a totally insolent and unapologetic asshole who resells AVIDS.)
PalmPILOT does have tonight’s venue noted:
The Final Final (by request)
News: As many may have gathered, the venerable Western Images has gone outta business, leaving many former and current employees eager to get together and laugh about the glory days. Tonight is the night. (The meeting ain’t exclusive to Western folks, of course.) Robot is hoping to recruit new list members.
Last Week’s Contest results: The VA's title, Laid, refered to "Laid Off, like we all were. However, other correct answers include, "euphemism for sex, also known as fucking, or getting fucked, like we are," and, "them IKEA bed slats." All good guesses, all winners.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: All non-ex-Western employees.
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: (More Halloween fun) Hung Wankenstein
Last week's Annie's meeting brought a shit-ton of folks. I think tonight will bring more. Drink beer, do some networking. Bring your pals! I sure will!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
PalmPILOT let me down. I didn't know I had an appointment to pet and feed the cats at 4am. Surely I did, though, because they woke me up to remind me. They did it a bit less gracefully than PalmPILOT would have. PalmPILOT would have issued a polite "buh-da-beep, buh-da-beep," I would have blurrily read the display that said, "ALARM. 4am Pet/Feed Cats," and I would have petted and fed them. Fats and Mog, on the other hand, employed a slightly more invasive method of waking me: They stood on my head and howled. Ugh. The PalmPILOT's mode would have been preferred, but I guess I “forgot” to note the appointment.
Wouldn't that be great if you had a magic PalmPILOT that would schedule those difficult ones? I could see myself checking the calendar: "Lessee ... I got an appointment to get punched in the eye by some jackass at the park this Saturday." I'd look at that one and say, "uh, yeah. I think I'll be missing that." Or how about, “2pm, today, bump head really hard.” That would be great to skip. Then there are the bigger things: “Quit current job, get new one FAST; ride in NO cars today; do NOT eat that enchilada.” I’m sure that such a tricked out PalmPILOT would come in handy quite often.
(After all is said and done, I rather didn't mind getting woken up by the little jerks. I was having disturbing dreams about two people I don't care for who had shacked up together and dreams about a totally insolent and unapologetic asshole who resells AVIDS.)
PalmPILOT does have tonight’s venue noted:
The Final Final (by request)
News: As many may have gathered, the venerable Western Images has gone outta business, leaving many former and current employees eager to get together and laugh about the glory days. Tonight is the night. (The meeting ain’t exclusive to Western folks, of course.) Robot is hoping to recruit new list members.
Last Week’s Contest results: The VA's title, Laid, refered to "Laid Off, like we all were. However, other correct answers include, "euphemism for sex, also known as fucking, or getting fucked, like we are," and, "them IKEA bed slats." All good guesses, all winners.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: All non-ex-Western employees.
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: (More Halloween fun) Hung Wankenstein
Last week's Annie's meeting brought a shit-ton of folks. I think tonight will bring more. Drink beer, do some networking. Bring your pals! I sure will!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Prince Charm
10.2.2018
A reply to a TNSC post from this week 2003:
Anonymous said...
Tonight - Latin American Club (by request)
** CASH ONLY **
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
A reply to a TNSC post from this week 2003:
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Tonight - Latin American Club (by request)
** CASH ONLY **
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 04, 2018
Chez Jay Fave (REDUX)
10.1.2018. (first posted this week 2003)
Ya hear the one about the 12-year-old left home alone by some slacker parent? Survived on cocktail olives for three weeks? I heard about it. Read it in the paper not two days ago. I don't know what all the fuss is about. When me and my brother and sister were kids and got left alone we didn't have olives. We had to drink our martinis with twists. bleah!
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern
(last call for a TNSC fave - you've been good...)
Bring yr pals. Behave.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Ya hear the one about the 12-year-old left home alone by some slacker parent? Survived on cocktail olives for three weeks? I heard about it. Read it in the paper not two days ago. I don't know what all the fuss is about. When me and my brother and sister were kids and got left alone we didn't have olives. We had to drink our martinis with twists. bleah!
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern
(last call for a TNSC fave - you've been good...)
Bring yr pals. Behave.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Shadnick (REDUX)
9.4.2018 (first posted this week 2004)
Sometimes the inspiration for a Venue Announcement strikes at a moment when I'm not able to write it out so I leave little clues or keywords on scraps of paper to remind me what to write later. Often I'll lose these post-its and whatnot, sometimes never to find them and at other times finding them and having no idea what the hell they mean. Take for example the note I found yesterday:
"Boathouse - waterdog - pay toilet"
"L. Wong driving school"
"Elke Sommer - palm tree - fistfight"
This one was so cryptic it took me a second to realize it was VA notes. I have no idea what they mean. Dunno where I was going to take them.
So anyway ... if there's one thing I love, it's how the English swear. I've mentioned before that it tickles me to death to hear English folks proclaim "Fucking Hell" and "Bollocks to you!" I have discovered, in my advanced age, that them crazy folks from Down Under swear real nice too. If you want to hear a real-live Aussie swear in real-life, please come to the meeting tonight and you'll meet one. That's right, List Member Lyndal is bringing one for show-and-tell. I promise I can make her swear.
Tonight - The Homestead
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Sometimes the inspiration for a Venue Announcement strikes at a moment when I'm not able to write it out so I leave little clues or keywords on scraps of paper to remind me what to write later. Often I'll lose these post-its and whatnot, sometimes never to find them and at other times finding them and having no idea what the hell they mean. Take for example the note I found yesterday:
"Boathouse - waterdog - pay toilet"
"L. Wong driving school"
"Elke Sommer - palm tree - fistfight"
This one was so cryptic it took me a second to realize it was VA notes. I have no idea what they mean. Dunno where I was going to take them.
So anyway ... if there's one thing I love, it's how the English swear. I've mentioned before that it tickles me to death to hear English folks proclaim "Fucking Hell" and "Bollocks to you!" I have discovered, in my advanced age, that them crazy folks from Down Under swear real nice too. If you want to hear a real-live Aussie swear in real-life, please come to the meeting tonight and you'll meet one. That's right, List Member Lyndal is bringing one for show-and-tell. I promise I can make her swear.
Tonight - The Homestead
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 20, 2018
Slugfest! (REDUX)
9.3.2018. (first published this week 2004)
Cat Hair Levels Near Total Surface Saturation
By Stuart Pidd
The Bisbee Bee
Alameda, CA - Despite concentrated efforts to stem the tide of cat hair surface contamination, the levels continue to rise in a vintage two-story townhouse here.
"The hair is everywhere," said Bucky Nopants, a resident of the domicile. "If (you) have cats, (you are) going to expect a certain amount of cat hair on (your) furniture and clothes. We've got hardwood floors and it's not uncommon to see weird little tufts of hair along the floorboards and stairs." But now the nuisance is showing up in other, unlikely places, Mr. Nopants said. "I brush my teeth and there's cat hair in my mouth! I swig V8 right from the bottle - the bottle that's in the fridge! - and I got cat hair in my mouth. The (expletive) stuff is (expletive) everywhere. It's in my eyes, on my clothes, in my whiskers!"
It is reported that Pepper Sweetchunks, the co-habitant of the townhouse, routinely changes from her work clothes to rags that one might strip furniture in, or perhaps paint tree trunks in, when she returns home from work. "Oh you bet your (expletive) I change my clothes the second I get home. One friendly rub-up from one of those monsters and yr pants are toast."
The monsters in question are two domestic longhair felines, one whitish, blue-eyed and annoyingly gregarious, the other blackish, yellow-eyed and guaranteed to flop at the slightest provocation or lick on command.
While the vacuum runs constantly here and astonishing amounts of hair are brushed from the beasts, the cat hair levels have been rising steadily for weeks.
Basil Cornpone, a corporate officer from Eephus Solutions, a site clean-up firm contracted by Mr. Nopants and Miss Sweetchunks to solve the problem, concedes the struggle's paradigm has shifted from offensive to defensive. "I've been in the cat hair extraction business for 36 days now and I've never seen it like this. No amount of brushing seems to help. We've power vacuumed this place for weeks with industrial tools and still there's cat hair. We've given up the obvious solutions and resorted to "Plan X."
The so-called "Plan X," as it was explained to the Bee, consists of high levels of defensive ignoring of the problem, in addition to defensive hoping it will go away.
With "Plan X" in effect for two weeks already, and scheduled to continue indefinitely, Mr. Nopants and Miss Sweetchunks hope to see results soon. "There's only so much (you) can do," said Mr. Nopants, "I mean, I ain't a prayin' man, but I was about to resort to it. Nothing else worked worth a (expletive)."
Tonight - Orbit Room (by request - festivities abounding!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Cat Hair Levels Near Total Surface Saturation
By Stuart Pidd
The Bisbee Bee
Alameda, CA - Despite concentrated efforts to stem the tide of cat hair surface contamination, the levels continue to rise in a vintage two-story townhouse here.
"The hair is everywhere," said Bucky Nopants, a resident of the domicile. "If (you) have cats, (you are) going to expect a certain amount of cat hair on (your) furniture and clothes. We've got hardwood floors and it's not uncommon to see weird little tufts of hair along the floorboards and stairs." But now the nuisance is showing up in other, unlikely places, Mr. Nopants said. "I brush my teeth and there's cat hair in my mouth! I swig V8 right from the bottle - the bottle that's in the fridge! - and I got cat hair in my mouth. The (expletive) stuff is (expletive) everywhere. It's in my eyes, on my clothes, in my whiskers!"
It is reported that Pepper Sweetchunks, the co-habitant of the townhouse, routinely changes from her work clothes to rags that one might strip furniture in, or perhaps paint tree trunks in, when she returns home from work. "Oh you bet your (expletive) I change my clothes the second I get home. One friendly rub-up from one of those monsters and yr pants are toast."
The monsters in question are two domestic longhair felines, one whitish, blue-eyed and annoyingly gregarious, the other blackish, yellow-eyed and guaranteed to flop at the slightest provocation or lick on command.
While the vacuum runs constantly here and astonishing amounts of hair are brushed from the beasts, the cat hair levels have been rising steadily for weeks.
Basil Cornpone, a corporate officer from Eephus Solutions, a site clean-up firm contracted by Mr. Nopants and Miss Sweetchunks to solve the problem, concedes the struggle's paradigm has shifted from offensive to defensive. "I've been in the cat hair extraction business for 36 days now and I've never seen it like this. No amount of brushing seems to help. We've power vacuumed this place for weeks with industrial tools and still there's cat hair. We've given up the obvious solutions and resorted to "Plan X."
The so-called "Plan X," as it was explained to the Bee, consists of high levels of defensive ignoring of the problem, in addition to defensive hoping it will go away.
With "Plan X" in effect for two weeks already, and scheduled to continue indefinitely, Mr. Nopants and Miss Sweetchunks hope to see results soon. "There's only so much (you) can do," said Mr. Nopants, "I mean, I ain't a prayin' man, but I was about to resort to it. Nothing else worked worth a (expletive)."
Tonight - Orbit Room (by request - festivities abounding!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 13, 2018
"Chute, I almost made it!" (REDUX)
9.2.2018 (first posted this week 2000)
I totally forgot that we have several list members representing the TNSC at the Sydney Olympics! Did anyone tape the Parade of Nations? Crap! I was at a bar with list member Mrs. Amanda Rose and at least we got to see it on the Tee Vee. Ya have to wait a long time for "Thursday" to come around in the alphabet. Our folks looked great, though, didn't they? Worth the wait. Congrats to Mary Haring for winning the "Olympic Parade of Nations Flag Bearer Contest" a few weeks back. I just checked the Medal Count board and TNSC is kickin' butt:
Bishop has a gold in Quit-your-job-and-go-to-art-school.
Moss bronzed in Suggest-Noc-Noc-for-the-TNSC-venue.
Anna and Dave won the gold in Get-Engaged.
(nameless) won the gold in Cubicle-construction.
John Metsker has silver in Best-Parking-Space.
Alan hisownself silvered in Cigarette-lighting.
Team Bjeldanes is holding its own in Softball-under-the-influence.
Susan Smith is still in medal contention for Avoid-getting-kicked-in-the-head-at-the-Man ... Or Astroman?-show.
Jerry just advanced to the medal round in Softball-homerun-derby.
Chef leads the pack in Liking-a-shitty-football-team.
Sally Carter won the gold in Needing-a-drink-after-a-helluva-Thursday-morning.
Guess what Rosey won gold in? Ha!
Still to come:
We have Amy Shuba competing in the Nice-car event.
Dee represents us in the Consecutive-hangovers contest (this is an exhibition sport).
Lori K. in the Photograph-drunk-list-members.
Jeremy in Blow-town (a clear favorite).
Sue Erokan in Pose-for-barroom-portraits.
And a whole bunch of people in Ditch-the-TNSC-meeting.
To that end, the meeting this week is here:
Elixir
New to the list: Mark, Edie. Hey folks. Like I said last week, no more mention of taking people who never come to the meetings ever off the list. Ever. Not one more time. I swear. Allison.
Tonight's Contest: Heck. Why not? "Puke on a raccoon" contest.
Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: Evel Knievel jumps the Snake River Canyon.
8 November 1974. Twin Falls, Idaho. The World's Greatest Daredevil attempts to jump the 1,580-foot distance over the Snake River Canyon in the steam-powered X-1 Skycycle. His parachute deploys early and the stunt is a fiasco. Tonight's Reenactment is being performed by Jason Porter using the dolls (made by Ideal Toy - that's right, the real McCoy) and the puppetry skills he is famous for. Thanks to Belinda and Danielle for construction of the miniature Canyon and "launch site."
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
I totally forgot that we have several list members representing the TNSC at the Sydney Olympics! Did anyone tape the Parade of Nations? Crap! I was at a bar with list member Mrs. Amanda Rose and at least we got to see it on the Tee Vee. Ya have to wait a long time for "Thursday" to come around in the alphabet. Our folks looked great, though, didn't they? Worth the wait. Congrats to Mary Haring for winning the "Olympic Parade of Nations Flag Bearer Contest" a few weeks back. I just checked the Medal Count board and TNSC is kickin' butt:
Bishop has a gold in Quit-your-job-and-go-to-art-school.
Moss bronzed in Suggest-Noc-Noc-for-the-TNSC-venue.
Anna and Dave won the gold in Get-Engaged.
(nameless) won the gold in Cubicle-construction.
John Metsker has silver in Best-Parking-Space.
Alan hisownself silvered in Cigarette-lighting.
Team Bjeldanes is holding its own in Softball-under-the-influence.
Susan Smith is still in medal contention for Avoid-getting-kicked-in-the-head-at-the-Man ... Or Astroman?-show.
Jerry just advanced to the medal round in Softball-homerun-derby.
Chef leads the pack in Liking-a-shitty-football-team.
Sally Carter won the gold in Needing-a-drink-after-a-helluva-Thursday-morning.
Guess what Rosey won gold in? Ha!
Still to come:
We have Amy Shuba competing in the Nice-car event.
Dee represents us in the Consecutive-hangovers contest (this is an exhibition sport).
Lori K. in the Photograph-drunk-list-members.
Jeremy in Blow-town (a clear favorite).
Sue Erokan in Pose-for-barroom-portraits.
And a whole bunch of people in Ditch-the-TNSC-meeting.
To that end, the meeting this week is here:
Elixir
New to the list: Mark, Edie. Hey folks. Like I said last week, no more mention of taking people who never come to the meetings ever off the list. Ever. Not one more time. I swear. Allison.
Tonight's Contest: Heck. Why not? "Puke on a raccoon" contest.
Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: Evel Knievel jumps the Snake River Canyon.
8 November 1974. Twin Falls, Idaho. The World's Greatest Daredevil attempts to jump the 1,580-foot distance over the Snake River Canyon in the steam-powered X-1 Skycycle. His parachute deploys early and the stunt is a fiasco. Tonight's Reenactment is being performed by Jason Porter using the dolls (made by Ideal Toy - that's right, the real McCoy) and the puppetry skills he is famous for. Thanks to Belinda and Danielle for construction of the miniature Canyon and "launch site."
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 06, 2018
Sunshine
9.1.2018
A couple of the little kids started crying at that and Sister Mary went to them. She called for a five minute break. I took a "rest of my life break," hot-footed it out of there and went to Dunkin' Donuts. I got a glazed donut and a cup of coffee and waited for my mom.
Tonight - House of Shields (and 10 Hail Marys)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
In 1984 I got into a private, Catholic high school. Somehow,
someone at the school or the school's church - I don't know which - discovered that
while I had been baptized way back when, I'd never been confirmed. I
can't conceive of the church network being so tight that they could know
that without, maybe, my mom filling out an admission form that way. Ticking one box but not another, that is.
I
think I took the call from Sister Mary Whatserface and she made it clear
to me that I was to report to room 3 at Most Holy Trinity school at 7p
on next Tuesday night for Confirmation class. She hung up and I talked about it with my mom.
We both shrugged and decided to give it a go. I wasn't Catholic, didn't
attend mass regularly (at all), but I'd go. "What the hell, what could go wrong," I thought.
MHT
was behind a Dunkin' Donuts not far from home. My mom dropped me off
there and told me she'd pick me up at the donut shop at 8:00. I went
and found room 3. The door had a sign on it, "Confirmation Class." This was it. I went in and found Sister Mary. I was a bit early, so Sister Mary - in
full habit - asked why she'd not seen me at mass. I told her I was
allergic to stained glass. She didn't believe me. She told me to sit
over there and glared at me while the other children filed in. The other children.
I was 14, about to start high school and the kids coming in were eight,
nine and ten. Maybe a 12 year old or two, but I was ancient compared
to these tykes. Most of them were girls. Two of the girls where
neighbors three doors down from where I lived. They swam in our pool. I
knew them. Would this be a good thing, or a bad thing?
The
class started and Sister Mary passed out some workbooks. They had
Jesus on the cover with a bunch of lambs and some kids wearing rags. We
turned to the first page and Sister Mary read it aloud. It was about
what would happen to you if you didn't complete this workbook and if you
didn't subsequently get confirmed. What would happen would definitely not be a good thing.
The
first part of the book was true or false. "All people sin." Sister
Mary read question one. "True!" All the kids knew this one. "Liars go
to heaven." "False," exclaimed the kids. "Animals go to heaven," read
Sister Mary. I could smell a trap. "True!" said the kids. "Uh uh
uh," said Sister Mary, "it is not so. Animals do not go to heaven.
Only people - Christian people - go to heaven." "Not our puppies and
kitties?" asked one wee child. "No," said Sister Mary, "there are no
dogs and cats - or puppies or kittens - in heaven." I heard a couple
gasps and more than one whimper.
Next was
multiple choice. For this section, Sister Mary had the children and me
read the question aloud, then the multiple choices and then chose the
correct answer. We started.
"The Son of God
is, A.) Bob; B.) Phil or, C.) Jesus. C.) Jesus." said the kid in the
first seat of the row. "Jesus, " I thought to myself, "what a softball
question." We went on.
"When is okay to pray,"
read the next kid, "A.) before bed; B.) before meals; C.) at church, or
D.) all of the above." "E.)," I thought, " before the Bears attempting
the game-winning field goal kick.") "D!" yelled the little scamp. The
kids all nodded in agreement. ugh. At this point I looked ahead in
the questions to see which one I would have to read aloud. I found it
and could not believe my eyes. It finally came to me and with it came
the end of the softball questions.
It was my turn. "Masturbation
and the sexual abuse of oneself," I read to Sister Mary and the mostly
girls and mostly really little kids, "is okay, A.) sometimes, B.) only
if you're lonely or C.) NEVER AND YOU WILL GO TO FUCKING HELL IF YOU DO IT OR EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING IT."
I didn't
say anything. There wasn't a sound in the room. "Well," Sister Mary
asked, "which one is it?" I waited another second. I looked at the two
neighbor girls. They were staring at their worksheets, terrified. A moment later I
said, "there's a chance it's A.), but it might be B.)," - I paused.
Sister's eyes got really wide. "But it's probably not A) or B)." Sister was turning red. I said, "It's
probably C)."
"There is NO PROBABLY about it!! Sister Mary yelled, "you shall not think about it or do it, or hell awaits!"
"There is NO PROBABLY about it!! Sister Mary yelled, "you shall not think about it or do it, or hell awaits!"
A couple of the little kids started crying at that and Sister Mary went to them. She called for a five minute break. I took a "rest of my life break," hot-footed it out of there and went to Dunkin' Donuts. I got a glazed donut and a cup of coffee and waited for my mom.
Tonight - House of Shields (and 10 Hail Marys)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 30, 2018
A Quinn-Martin Production (REDUX)
8.5.2018 (first posted this week 2000)
I ride my bike a lot. I ride to and from work almost every day. The streets of San Francisco, for those of you who don't know, tend to be quite dangerous. Lotsa drivers don't seem to see bikes. Or pedestrians. Or cars, trucks, vans or busses for that matter. It also seems, and this is just my observation, that they are hell-bent on gettin' to wherever it is they're goin' - and damn the guy that gets in my way. In other words, IF they see you, they are probably very irritated to see that you are in their way.
A lot of people say that they would never ride a bike on the streets of San Francisco. Just too damn dangerous. They're right. I, however, continue to ride. No ... no, I don't have a death wish. I'm just committed to it. I also strive to be careful. I stop at red lights. I stop at stop signs. I yield for pedestrians. The most important thing I do is I behave "predictably." I ride straight, I don't weave around wildly, I don't act like a jerk. Bikes have a right to the road and I ain't afraid of traffic. Respectful, but not afraid. Wait. Yeah, okay, I am afraid of a certain component of traffic: those cement mixers. One of them huge suckers even nicks you and yer ridin' the high lonesome from now on. No chance.
Makes me think. I'm little and cement mixers are big. I'm afraid of them. They're not afraid of me. That seems natural. Little being afraid of big. Fine. How is it, then, that elephants (big) are afraid of mice (little)? Doesn't make a lot of sense. Elephants can stomp the crap out of a whole colony of mice. I think tonight we should find out the reason. We'll go to the source and ask an expert.
Here:
The Homestead
Special guests! Come and meet (most) of your founders!
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: The quarter-finals of the Hold-Your-Breath contest. Check the leader board and make your wagers. (See John Metsker for current odds.)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The "invention" of Crepes Suzette.
Henry Charpentier was the personal chef of Edward, Prince of Wales. One night Charpentier was preparing a new dessert to honor his patron. They were to be crepes with an elaborate sauce of lemon rind, orange rind, sugar, butter and liqueur.
As the sauce was boiling, the liqueur accidentally ignited. Charpentier panicked. He couldn't serve this to the prince, nor could he start over. After a moment of anguish, he tried the sauce. It was delicious! He then boiled the crepes in the sauce, added even more liqueur and served the dessert to the prince - sauce aflame! The prince was delighted with both the presentation and the crepes. He asked his chef the name of the dish, to which Charpentier replied that he had just devised it and would call them Crepes Edward. The prince was honored, but asked Charpentier if he would name them Suzette - the prince's "companion" that evening. And thus - Crepes Suzette! Our players: Rosey plays Charpentier. Scott Harris plays Edward, Prince of Wales. Lori K. plays the beautiful but otherwise unknown woman named Suzette. Danielle plays a bunch of crepes. John Metsker takes on the difficult role of flaming lemon rind, orange rind, sugar, butter and liqueur.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Rosey. This is the last time this quitter will be singled out, as it is his last week with us. Someone gave him a map to LA and he's going. Good luck to Rosey and we'll miss him. Happy Trails!
The lizard in the sour cream and onion potato chips was a hoax. They are safe to eat.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
I ride my bike a lot. I ride to and from work almost every day. The streets of San Francisco, for those of you who don't know, tend to be quite dangerous. Lotsa drivers don't seem to see bikes. Or pedestrians. Or cars, trucks, vans or busses for that matter. It also seems, and this is just my observation, that they are hell-bent on gettin' to wherever it is they're goin' - and damn the guy that gets in my way. In other words, IF they see you, they are probably very irritated to see that you are in their way.
A lot of people say that they would never ride a bike on the streets of San Francisco. Just too damn dangerous. They're right. I, however, continue to ride. No ... no, I don't have a death wish. I'm just committed to it. I also strive to be careful. I stop at red lights. I stop at stop signs. I yield for pedestrians. The most important thing I do is I behave "predictably." I ride straight, I don't weave around wildly, I don't act like a jerk. Bikes have a right to the road and I ain't afraid of traffic. Respectful, but not afraid. Wait. Yeah, okay, I am afraid of a certain component of traffic: those cement mixers. One of them huge suckers even nicks you and yer ridin' the high lonesome from now on. No chance.
Makes me think. I'm little and cement mixers are big. I'm afraid of them. They're not afraid of me. That seems natural. Little being afraid of big. Fine. How is it, then, that elephants (big) are afraid of mice (little)? Doesn't make a lot of sense. Elephants can stomp the crap out of a whole colony of mice. I think tonight we should find out the reason. We'll go to the source and ask an expert.
Here:
The Homestead
Special guests! Come and meet (most) of your founders!
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: The quarter-finals of the Hold-Your-Breath contest. Check the leader board and make your wagers. (See John Metsker for current odds.)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The "invention" of Crepes Suzette.
Henry Charpentier was the personal chef of Edward, Prince of Wales. One night Charpentier was preparing a new dessert to honor his patron. They were to be crepes with an elaborate sauce of lemon rind, orange rind, sugar, butter and liqueur.
As the sauce was boiling, the liqueur accidentally ignited. Charpentier panicked. He couldn't serve this to the prince, nor could he start over. After a moment of anguish, he tried the sauce. It was delicious! He then boiled the crepes in the sauce, added even more liqueur and served the dessert to the prince - sauce aflame! The prince was delighted with both the presentation and the crepes. He asked his chef the name of the dish, to which Charpentier replied that he had just devised it and would call them Crepes Edward. The prince was honored, but asked Charpentier if he would name them Suzette - the prince's "companion" that evening. And thus - Crepes Suzette! Our players: Rosey plays Charpentier. Scott Harris plays Edward, Prince of Wales. Lori K. plays the beautiful but otherwise unknown woman named Suzette. Danielle plays a bunch of crepes. John Metsker takes on the difficult role of flaming lemon rind, orange rind, sugar, butter and liqueur.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Rosey. This is the last time this quitter will be singled out, as it is his last week with us. Someone gave him a map to LA and he's going. Good luck to Rosey and we'll miss him. Happy Trails!
The lizard in the sour cream and onion potato chips was a hoax. They are safe to eat.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 23, 2018
Octopus!! (REDUX)
8.4.2018 (first post this week 2004)
Dang but not workin' is great! Here's what I've done:
Washed the floors
Cleaned the shower, ter-let and bathroom sink.
Done three-four loads of wash. And folded 'em.
Gone to the market.
Cooked up dinner: Brussels sauteed in bacon and garlic along w/ Beef Stroganoff.
Cooked up coffee: Pot-a Kona, Pot-a "Ethiopian Fancy" and two Pots-a Costa Rican.
Cooked up a big pot-a baked beans.
Gone off to the gym. Three times.
Washed a VW Golf. Int and Ext.
Washed a Jeep Liberty. Int and Ext.
Watered a bunch of plants.
Paid a bunch of bills.
Took a shitload of ... uh ... shit to Goodwill.
Returned a bunch of ... uh ... shit to the Ikea and Home Depot.
Like I said: Not workin' is soooooo great.
Tonight - Kickin' it North Beach - Tony Nik's (by request)
* Special guests!! *
Dang if you missed last week you missed Susan Dynamite. You eeeediot!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Dang but not workin' is great! Here's what I've done:
Washed the floors
Cleaned the shower, ter-let and bathroom sink.
Done three-four loads of wash. And folded 'em.
Gone to the market.
Cooked up dinner: Brussels sauteed in bacon and garlic along w/ Beef Stroganoff.
Cooked up coffee: Pot-a Kona, Pot-a "Ethiopian Fancy" and two Pots-a Costa Rican.
Cooked up a big pot-a baked beans.
Gone off to the gym. Three times.
Washed a VW Golf. Int and Ext.
Washed a Jeep Liberty. Int and Ext.
Watered a bunch of plants.
Paid a bunch of bills.
Took a shitload of ... uh ... shit to Goodwill.
Returned a bunch of ... uh ... shit to the Ikea and Home Depot.
Like I said: Not workin' is soooooo great.
Tonight - Kickin' it North Beach - Tony Nik's (by request)
* Special guests!! *
Dang if you missed last week you missed Susan Dynamite. You eeeediot!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Sweet ... creamery ... (REDUX)
8.3.2018 (first posted this week 2000)
I've always wanted to make a time capsule and I figure now's the time. I'm making a list of things to put in it:
Packa smokes. (Obvious choice. First thing ya do when you crack the thing open is find smokes. Light up and go through the rest of the capsule.)
Case of Coors Light. (Folks'll be thirsty for good beer in the future.)
Chicago Cubs cap. (My time capsule. I decide what goes in it.)
Metal keys. (When them "retina scanners" come out metal keys are dinosaurs.)
Ream of copy paper. (Paper = GOLD in future.)
Cell Phone (I'm putting mine in there to get rid of it.)
Pecan Pie recipe. (De-lish.)
Assorted Joe R. Lansdale novels. (Read some yourself and you'll know why future-boy gets these gems.)
A roll of latent 35mm neg. (Picture the fella who opens the capsule finding this. Curiosity will get the better of them and they'll find themselves compelled to develop the negative (Prob at no small cost. You know, "digaital photography" is the future. Fotomats are gonna be bulldozed (or LASER-DEMOLISHED (??)) faster than you can say "Bob's Big Boy." Anyhoo, Future Citizen will go through this ordeal to find on the neg very tasteful pictures of my cats. My gift to them.)
Brand-new leather wallet. (For holding fancy-ass credit chips or whatever.)
Last, but not least, the name of the location of tonight's TNSC meeting:
Wooden Nickel - Go for the cocktails, stay for the San Diego-style Cal/Mex food.
Business news: Want a list of new members? Okay!
NOTE: I need real names for future SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBERS. More business news: I'm going to clean up the list soon. If you haven't come for a while, you might want to renew your membership by having someone buy you a drink at a meeting.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Firewalking
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The first time somebody stopped for a yellow light in San Francisco. The players: Well ... no one has actually ever stopped for a yellow light in SF, so we have to wait till someone does before we dramatically reenact it.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Rosey. Still a quitter. Speaking of quitting, guess who quit smoking? I started for a good reason and quit for the same reason. Go figure.
Team Bjeldanes results from 12aug00: Win. 5-0 (yeah, I know. I said 5-0 last week. My typewriter is screwy. Sometimes it writes "5" instead of "4." Sometimes it writes "I like fancy-ass microbrews like Sierra Nevada" instead of "I hate fancy-ass microbrews like Sierra Nevada.")
Team Bjeldanes results from 13aug00: Win. Backwards "K" to end the game. Thanks Tobin Jones, pitcher-god. 6-0.
Does anyone want to go bowling?
See you all tonight or ELSE! Bring yer best pal or best gal.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
I've always wanted to make a time capsule and I figure now's the time. I'm making a list of things to put in it:
Packa smokes. (Obvious choice. First thing ya do when you crack the thing open is find smokes. Light up and go through the rest of the capsule.)
Case of Coors Light. (Folks'll be thirsty for good beer in the future.)
Chicago Cubs cap. (My time capsule. I decide what goes in it.)
Metal keys. (When them "retina scanners" come out metal keys are dinosaurs.)
Ream of copy paper. (Paper = GOLD in future.)
Cell Phone (I'm putting mine in there to get rid of it.)
Pecan Pie recipe. (De-lish.)
Assorted Joe R. Lansdale novels. (Read some yourself and you'll know why future-boy gets these gems.)
A roll of latent 35mm neg. (Picture the fella who opens the capsule finding this. Curiosity will get the better of them and they'll find themselves compelled to develop the negative (Prob at no small cost. You know, "digaital photography" is the future. Fotomats are gonna be bulldozed (or LASER-DEMOLISHED (??)) faster than you can say "Bob's Big Boy." Anyhoo, Future Citizen will go through this ordeal to find on the neg very tasteful pictures of my cats. My gift to them.)
Brand-new leather wallet. (For holding fancy-ass credit chips or whatever.)
Last, but not least, the name of the location of tonight's TNSC meeting:
Wooden Nickel - Go for the cocktails, stay for the San Diego-style Cal/Mex food.
Business news: Want a list of new members? Okay!
NOTE: I need real names for future SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBERS. More business news: I'm going to clean up the list soon. If you haven't come for a while, you might want to renew your membership by having someone buy you a drink at a meeting.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Firewalking
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The first time somebody stopped for a yellow light in San Francisco. The players: Well ... no one has actually ever stopped for a yellow light in SF, so we have to wait till someone does before we dramatically reenact it.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Rosey. Still a quitter. Speaking of quitting, guess who quit smoking? I started for a good reason and quit for the same reason. Go figure.
Team Bjeldanes results from 12aug00: Win. 5-0 (yeah, I know. I said 5-0 last week. My typewriter is screwy. Sometimes it writes "5" instead of "4." Sometimes it writes "I like fancy-ass microbrews like Sierra Nevada" instead of "I hate fancy-ass microbrews like Sierra Nevada.")
Team Bjeldanes results from 13aug00: Win. Backwards "K" to end the game. Thanks Tobin Jones, pitcher-god. 6-0.
Does anyone want to go bowling?
See you all tonight or ELSE! Bring yer best pal or best gal.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 09, 2018
K-rouze!!
8.2.2018
carouse | kəˈrouz | verb [no object] drink plentiful amounts of alcohol and enjoy oneself with others in a noisy, lively way: they danced and caroused until the drink ran out | (as noun carousing) : a night of carousing. noun a noisy, lively drinking party: corporate carouses. DERIVATIVES carousal | kəˈrouz(É™)l | noun carouser | kəˈrouzÉ™r | noun ORIGIN mid 16th century: originally as an adverb meaning ‘right out, completely’ in the phrase drink carouse, from German gar aus trinken; hence ‘drink heavily, have a drinking bout’.
Tonight - Casanova Lounge
(by request - it's been a while since our last visit)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
carouse | kəˈrouz | verb [no object] drink plentiful amounts of alcohol and enjoy oneself with others in a noisy, lively way: they danced and caroused until the drink ran out | (as noun carousing) : a night of carousing. noun a noisy, lively drinking party: corporate carouses. DERIVATIVES carousal | kəˈrouz(É™)l | noun carouser | kəˈrouzÉ™r | noun ORIGIN mid 16th century: originally as an adverb meaning ‘right out, completely’ in the phrase drink carouse, from German gar aus trinken; hence ‘drink heavily, have a drinking bout’.
Tonight - Casanova Lounge
(by request - it's been a while since our last visit)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 02, 2018
(no title)
8.1.2018 (first posted this week 2002)
Think about this one:
24/7 cat supervision.
Tonight - Lone Palm
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Think about this one:
24/7 cat supervision.
Tonight - Lone Palm
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Nugget (REDUX)
7.4.2018 (first posted this week 2004)
The two of them sat at the younger man's desk, examining the 8x10 glossy photograph. From the uncomfortable chair the supervisor had pulled up, the older man leaned forward and gestured toward different parts of the photo with the eraser-end of his pencil.
"This down here, the red-tinted area, is medium-to-light industry. Orange is heavy industry," he said, pointing to the orange area at the center of the red.
"Right," the younger man said, "and these various shades of green?"
"Forest. The darker shades indicate density. Dark is more dense," said the older man.
"And this part here, up at the top?" asked the younger man.
"Ah, that's Canada," said the older man.
"Canada?"
"That's right. The dotted line," he pointed with the eraser, "the dotted line is the border."
"Uh-huh, I see," the younger man said. "You mind if I write on this?"
"Write whatever you want. It's your copy."
The younger man opened a drawer and picked out a black marker. He removed the cap and began to write tall capital letters on the photo: F U C K I N G C A N A D A. Then he underlined it.
The older man watched speechlessly as the younger man wrote "FUCKING CANADA" on the photo. With a look of bewilderment on his face, he looked up from it and stared at the younger man, who met his gaze.
"Just what the hell are you doing," he asked.
"You said I could write on it," he said.
"I didn't say you could write that on it."
"You said I could write whatever I want."
"Well what are you writing that word on it for?"
"I dunno. I got nothing really against Canada. I like beer and hockey and all."
Tonight - Kickin' it Missio w/ Jesus: The Homestead
(HBD to the 3 J’s: Joan, Jay, and Jason!! C'mon out and toast them in person!)
See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
The two of them sat at the younger man's desk, examining the 8x10 glossy photograph. From the uncomfortable chair the supervisor had pulled up, the older man leaned forward and gestured toward different parts of the photo with the eraser-end of his pencil.
"This down here, the red-tinted area, is medium-to-light industry. Orange is heavy industry," he said, pointing to the orange area at the center of the red.
"Right," the younger man said, "and these various shades of green?"
"Forest. The darker shades indicate density. Dark is more dense," said the older man.
"And this part here, up at the top?" asked the younger man.
"Ah, that's Canada," said the older man.
"Canada?"
"That's right. The dotted line," he pointed with the eraser, "the dotted line is the border."
"Uh-huh, I see," the younger man said. "You mind if I write on this?"
"Write whatever you want. It's your copy."
The younger man opened a drawer and picked out a black marker. He removed the cap and began to write tall capital letters on the photo: F U C K I N G C A N A D A. Then he underlined it.
The older man watched speechlessly as the younger man wrote "FUCKING CANADA" on the photo. With a look of bewilderment on his face, he looked up from it and stared at the younger man, who met his gaze.
"Just what the hell are you doing," he asked.
"You said I could write on it," he said.
"I didn't say you could write that on it."
"You said I could write whatever I want."
"Well what are you writing that word on it for?"
"I dunno. I got nothing really against Canada. I like beer and hockey and all."
Tonight - Kickin' it Missio w/ Jesus: The Homestead
(HBD to the 3 J’s: Joan, Jay, and Jason!! C'mon out and toast them in person!)
See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 19, 2018
Retardy (REDUX)
7.3.2018 (first posted this week 2005)
Sorry I'm tardy today but here's why:
Tonight - Pop's (by request)
** CASH ONLY**
Fire in the disco!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Sorry I'm tardy today but here's why:
Tonight - Pop's (by request)
** CASH ONLY**
Fire in the disco!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Morgane Lhote is a babe!! (REDUX)
7.2.2018. (first posted this week 2000)
The gunfighter of the Old West had to live his life ever-ready to kill or be killed. Those that knew them said they developed "cat eyes" - any sudden movement, any twitch, any motion - the gunman would be slapping leather and lead would be flying - usually with deadly results. The members of the Thursday Night Social Club live their Thursday nights ever-ready to buy a drink for their fellow list member. Those that know them say they develop "hawk eyes" - while on their way to the bar for a refill, they could spot a fellow list member with a near-emptied drink clear across the bar. That fellow list member would hear the refrain: "What was that, fellow list member; I'll be buying you another right now!" The TNSC member would be slapping bills on the bar and drinks would be pouring - usually with fun results!
From J. Lechuga's introduction to I Was Born In Tennessee: The Myth and Reality of the Thursday Night Social Club, Stuart Pidd, author; University of Bisbee Press, 1999.
Ah, academia. Do you miss it? I sure do. We had a prof that would sometimes hold class at the bar around the corner. That was certainly a highlight. Class this week is to be held here:
The Homestead
Some business: I misspelled Lori K's name last week as Lisa K. I'm a poor typist. I also said that I added Amy's sister to the list but didn't. "This time for sure." Amy herownself is back on the list. Anybody wanna bet if she drives in from Mountain View or Sunnyvale or San Diego or wherever she's at? John Metsker has the current odds. Founding Member Susan "dynamite" Smith is back on the list. Don't ask me why she's been left off - it's a long story involving international intrigue that the State Department forbids me from getting into. Rosey asked if he could bring his 12-year old nephew to the meeting. I'm not one to say no, but could somebody check the state of CA's Legal Drinking Age for Rosey? He may find his own answer there. On that notion, Rosey found his own way to the meeting last week. No map. Yay! This Founding Member thinks Old Man Rosey is starting to come around. (See Metsker for them odds, too.)
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jarts. Watch yerself. They were recalled for a reason, remember?
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: Belinda Johnstone. She should be a model for the rest of us. Miss Johnstone suggested a venue - true to the spirit of TNSC - for next week. Not this week cause she's off to Ohio for god knows what. Hurry back, Belinda, we'll see you 7.3.2K! Also singled-out: Jason Porter. Did not come to the meeting last week. Birthday tomorrow. Gift ideas: matches, pencil sharpeners, vampire novels. Perhaps he'll show tonight and cash in.
No homework this week cause you've all been really good. Don't forget permission slips for the brewery tour. Bring someone to make out with at the Make Out Room. (Who is Morgane Lhote?)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
The gunfighter of the Old West had to live his life ever-ready to kill or be killed. Those that knew them said they developed "cat eyes" - any sudden movement, any twitch, any motion - the gunman would be slapping leather and lead would be flying - usually with deadly results. The members of the Thursday Night Social Club live their Thursday nights ever-ready to buy a drink for their fellow list member. Those that know them say they develop "hawk eyes" - while on their way to the bar for a refill, they could spot a fellow list member with a near-emptied drink clear across the bar. That fellow list member would hear the refrain: "What was that, fellow list member; I'll be buying you another right now!" The TNSC member would be slapping bills on the bar and drinks would be pouring - usually with fun results!
From J. Lechuga's introduction to I Was Born In Tennessee: The Myth and Reality of the Thursday Night Social Club, Stuart Pidd, author; University of Bisbee Press, 1999.
Ah, academia. Do you miss it? I sure do. We had a prof that would sometimes hold class at the bar around the corner. That was certainly a highlight. Class this week is to be held here:
The Homestead
Some business: I misspelled Lori K's name last week as Lisa K. I'm a poor typist. I also said that I added Amy's sister to the list but didn't. "This time for sure." Amy herownself is back on the list. Anybody wanna bet if she drives in from Mountain View or Sunnyvale or San Diego or wherever she's at? John Metsker has the current odds. Founding Member Susan "dynamite" Smith is back on the list. Don't ask me why she's been left off - it's a long story involving international intrigue that the State Department forbids me from getting into. Rosey asked if he could bring his 12-year old nephew to the meeting. I'm not one to say no, but could somebody check the state of CA's Legal Drinking Age for Rosey? He may find his own answer there. On that notion, Rosey found his own way to the meeting last week. No map. Yay! This Founding Member thinks Old Man Rosey is starting to come around. (See Metsker for them odds, too.)
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jarts. Watch yerself. They were recalled for a reason, remember?
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: Belinda Johnstone. She should be a model for the rest of us. Miss Johnstone suggested a venue - true to the spirit of TNSC - for next week. Not this week cause she's off to Ohio for god knows what. Hurry back, Belinda, we'll see you 7.3.2K! Also singled-out: Jason Porter. Did not come to the meeting last week. Birthday tomorrow. Gift ideas: matches, pencil sharpeners, vampire novels. Perhaps he'll show tonight and cash in.
No homework this week cause you've all been really good. Don't forget permission slips for the brewery tour. Bring someone to make out with at the Make Out Room. (Who is Morgane Lhote?)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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