12.3.2k8
Gettin' up in the morn and going to work is the engine that keeps the modern world running, although in these troubling financial times fewer people need do because they done been laid off. Been there.
There's a bloke in my neighborhood that goes as far as getting up, getting dressed and getting into his car, but that's it. I've observed him for quite some time doing this: Just sitting in his car, an old, junky, tan Astrovan or some such. At times he reads the paper. Other times he smokes. Just recently I spied a tiny TV on his dash. How long he sits there I don't know. What time he starts in the am, I don't know. How long he's been doing this, again, I don't know.
I wonder if he tells the wife, "bye honey, see you tonight," like that guy in that crappy Joel Schumacher movie (which one? They're ALL crappy! ha ha ha!) and pretends to go to the office. Ain't likely, though, as he's always in the same place. One trip to the Ralph's by his wife and a chance drive-by of his spot and the jig would be up. No, I don't think he's lying to anyone. I think he's just a guy that sits in his car.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Believe it!
12.2.2k8
Quiz! What do these two nimrods ...
... have in common with these two nimrods?
Give up?? They all eat off the same plates!
Ya see, the cats' diets have changed over time and they now eat canned food. Only thing, their cat dishes were deep for a pile of dry food, not flat for a glob of wet. So my little wife went over to the second-hand shop (quote: "I don't want those fuckers eating off the plates WE eat off") and scored a foursome of small plates. Here are two:
The do the job very well. We got four so we could have two in action and have a pair clean at the same time. I was washing the cat spit off one when I turned it over and saw the stamp:
Braniff Airlines? I've flown Braniff! I don't remember such in-flight service, er ... service. Further inspection shows they were dishes for 747s ... likely First Class service, for folks like the nimrods pictured above.
I showed this to my wife and she didn't care. But I couldn't help but think of the exotic ports-of-call these simple dishes have visited in their time in service. The adventure! The wonder! Then I thought of their sad fates ... a dish for sliced chicken hearts and livers in thick gravy. ick.
But oh! the glory days!
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Burlesque night!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Quiz! What do these two nimrods ...
... have in common with these two nimrods?
Give up?? They all eat off the same plates!
Ya see, the cats' diets have changed over time and they now eat canned food. Only thing, their cat dishes were deep for a pile of dry food, not flat for a glob of wet. So my little wife went over to the second-hand shop (quote: "I don't want those fuckers eating off the plates WE eat off") and scored a foursome of small plates. Here are two:
The do the job very well. We got four so we could have two in action and have a pair clean at the same time. I was washing the cat spit off one when I turned it over and saw the stamp:
Braniff Airlines? I've flown Braniff! I don't remember such in-flight service, er ... service. Further inspection shows they were dishes for 747s ... likely First Class service, for folks like the nimrods pictured above.
I showed this to my wife and she didn't care. But I couldn't help but think of the exotic ports-of-call these simple dishes have visited in their time in service. The adventure! The wonder! Then I thought of their sad fates ... a dish for sliced chicken hearts and livers in thick gravy. ick.
But oh! the glory days!
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Burlesque night!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Pork
12.1.2k8
My brother moved recently. His new apartment is in a five-story apartment building and he lives on the third floor in apartment 312. One floor above him, in 412, lives a real-live whore!! There's the obvious drawbacks to living under a whore, but as this one is a "Ritz Carlton" whore, it's not as bad as one would think. Loud sometimes, but not really the icky, junky, street-walking type. My brother figures she has regular johns, as the bed upstairs creaks at regular intervals.
Anyway, I tell you this because my brother told me a fun story. It was a week or two after he moved in and after a busy week and an especially tough Friday that at 11:45p he decided to call it a night. Moments after he settled in, he heard a couple loud grrrrls approaching from down the hall. Moments later, someone put their shoulder into his door and began to pound on it. "Roxy!! Roxy!!! Open up!!" My brother thought, what the hell, and opened up.
Outside stood two drunk skinny girls in big black boots, tight dresses and a lot of hairspray and makeup. They regarded each other a few seconds. Standing there in nothing but black socks and happiness, he said to the two "marina skanks," "I think you want the floor above me. But, hell, if you want a couple Miller Lites™ and some Triscuits™, come on in." They declined.
Tonight - Lucky 13.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
12.1.2k8
My brother moved recently. His new apartment is in a five-story apartment building and he lives on the third floor in apartment 312. One floor above him, in 412, lives a real-live whore!! There's the obvious drawbacks to living under a whore, but as this one is a "Ritz Carlton" whore, it's not as bad as one would think. Loud sometimes, but not really the icky, junky, street-walking type. My brother figures she has regular johns, as the bed upstairs creaks at regular intervals.
Anyway, I tell you this because my brother told me a fun story. It was a week or two after he moved in and after a busy week and an especially tough Friday that at 11:45p he decided to call it a night. Moments after he settled in, he heard a couple loud grrrrls approaching from down the hall. Moments later, someone put their shoulder into his door and began to pound on it. "Roxy!! Roxy!!! Open up!!" My brother thought, what the hell, and opened up.
Outside stood two drunk skinny girls in big black boots, tight dresses and a lot of hairspray and makeup. They regarded each other a few seconds. Standing there in nothing but black socks and happiness, he said to the two "marina skanks," "I think you want the floor above me. But, hell, if you want a couple Miller Lites™ and some Triscuits™, come on in." They declined.
Tonight - Lucky 13.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Widescreen
11.3.2k8
If you voted for me, thanks. Turns out I came out a bit short. And the camo beercans are nowhere to be found, so I'm revealing my position again. Lousy week.
Tonight - since next weekend is turkey day, tonight it's Homestead.
Safe travels to all, ok?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
11.3.2k8
If you voted for me, thanks. Turns out I came out a bit short. And the camo beercans are nowhere to be found, so I'm revealing my position again. Lousy week.
Tonight - since next weekend is turkey day, tonight it's Homestead.
Safe travels to all, ok?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wimpy wimpy wimpy.
11.2.2k8
I know that when I'm getting my blast on I like to trow down several sudsy beverages. I know that I don't like the impact that drinking beers from can or bottle has on giving my position away to my quarry, whether beast or thing. By beast I mean clay pidgey. By thing I usually mean empty beer can, neither of which will exploit the knowledge of my position to its gain, but if it would, I would most assuredly pay a hefty price.
So Obama bless our wonderful friends at the venerable Miller Brewing Co. who have introduced unobtrusive packaging on their wonderful Champagne of Beers™. That's right ... properly camouflaged and outfitted with these camouflaged beer cans, one could stalk the wiley can on a fence post completely unnoticed.
Tonight - Club De-Luxe.
Burlesque!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
11.2.2k8
I know that when I'm getting my blast on I like to trow down several sudsy beverages. I know that I don't like the impact that drinking beers from can or bottle has on giving my position away to my quarry, whether beast or thing. By beast I mean clay pidgey. By thing I usually mean empty beer can, neither of which will exploit the knowledge of my position to its gain, but if it would, I would most assuredly pay a hefty price.
So Obama bless our wonderful friends at the venerable Miller Brewing Co. who have introduced unobtrusive packaging on their wonderful Champagne of Beers™. That's right ... properly camouflaged and outfitted with these camouflaged beer cans, one could stalk the wiley can on a fence post completely unnoticed.
Tonight - Club De-Luxe.
Burlesque!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, November 06, 2008
ˈvīrəs
11.1.2k8
There's nothing worse than being sick. Other than when you work for a giant creative entity and the whole place is sick. Not individual sickness, like coughs, colds and flu, but a giant collective sickness - like a virus. The good side is there aren't the 300 daily emails that distract one from one's work. The bad side is that contact to friends and loved ones on the outside world is via Instant Message is non-existent. The indifferent side is that a genuinely less creative, but trusted cohort has to resort to hijacking your identity to post tonight's Venue Announcement.
Tonight - House of Shields.
Bow to it. 100 years old and still going strong. Enjoy the soul-country stylings of the Mike Therieau (from "The Loved Ones", and "Dave Gleason's Wasted Days"), featuring ex-TNSC bartender Pat Johnson.
Show starts at 8pm. FREE!!!
See you there. I know I'll be.
Bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
11.1.2k8
There's nothing worse than being sick. Other than when you work for a giant creative entity and the whole place is sick. Not individual sickness, like coughs, colds and flu, but a giant collective sickness - like a virus. The good side is there aren't the 300 daily emails that distract one from one's work. The bad side is that contact to friends and loved ones on the outside world is via Instant Message is non-existent. The indifferent side is that a genuinely less creative, but trusted cohort has to resort to hijacking your identity to post tonight's Venue Announcement.
Tonight - House of Shields.
Bow to it. 100 years old and still going strong. Enjoy the soul-country stylings of the Mike Therieau (from "The Loved Ones", and "Dave Gleason's Wasted Days"), featuring ex-TNSC bartender Pat Johnson.
Show starts at 8pm. FREE!!!
See you there. I know I'll be.
Bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Nailin'
10.5.2k8
This here is SJ:
She's goin' to dress up for Halloween and she's gonna be that tool Sarah Palin. And because that twit is a self-proclaimed hockey mom, SJ is gonna need a hockey stick, and so she fashioned one outta cardboard, tape and broomstick:
And because the GOP VP candidate twat is a trigger-happy lunatic, SJ is gonna need her a gun, and so she fashioned one outta cardboard, tape and gunpowder:
Now all SJ needs to complete her "Asian Palin" costume is ... well ... a $100k wardrobe and a lobotomy.
Freeze sucker bitch!!
Tonight - Benders. Yes, it's been a year since it rose like a Phoenix from the fire that ravaged it, and sadly this is our first time back to the "new" dive. Don't let a little rain dampen your spirits. Come on out and join the rest of the TNSC crew.
Happy Halloween! I met my future wife on Halloween. Good luck!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
10.5.2k8
This here is SJ:
She's goin' to dress up for Halloween and she's gonna be that tool Sarah Palin. And because that twit is a self-proclaimed hockey mom, SJ is gonna need a hockey stick, and so she fashioned one outta cardboard, tape and broomstick:
And because the GOP VP candidate twat is a trigger-happy lunatic, SJ is gonna need her a gun, and so she fashioned one outta cardboard, tape and gunpowder:
Now all SJ needs to complete her "Asian Palin" costume is ... well ... a $100k wardrobe and a lobotomy.
Freeze sucker bitch!!
Tonight - Benders. Yes, it's been a year since it rose like a Phoenix from the fire that ravaged it, and sadly this is our first time back to the "new" dive. Don't let a little rain dampen your spirits. Come on out and join the rest of the TNSC crew.
Happy Halloween! I met my future wife on Halloween. Good luck!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Eleanor Rigby
10.4.2k8
I'm sorry for being such a slacker in Venue Announcement production lately (big ups to Linkey Loo! Robot Alan J. Chimenti for remembering my password and ghostwriting VAs for me that just made the self-imposed posting deadline); I've had a new development in my life that's taking up a lot of my time that some of you may have heard about. If you're one of the two that haven't, I'll tell you now: I'm conducting a scientific experiment.
The nature of the experiment is complicated and the hypothesis is downright unintelligible, but in a nutshell, I'm conducting an exhaustive examination on my extensive sock collection to determine which pair, when worn (on my feet), promote the greatest heat retention in my pedal extremities. In essence, find which of my socks are the warmest.
This morning's candidate pair have leapt to the front of the pack. They're goddamn hot.
The purpose of this experiment, when all the political motives are boiled away, is pretty simple: Identify and rid myself of hot socks. It ain't cold enough for warm socks down here, yo.
Tonight - Homestead.
Lots of special guests tonight. Bring yr pals!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
10.4.2k8
I'm sorry for being such a slacker in Venue Announcement production lately (big ups to Linkey Loo! Robot Alan J. Chimenti for remembering my password and ghostwriting VAs for me that just made the self-imposed posting deadline); I've had a new development in my life that's taking up a lot of my time that some of you may have heard about. If you're one of the two that haven't, I'll tell you now: I'm conducting a scientific experiment.
The nature of the experiment is complicated and the hypothesis is downright unintelligible, but in a nutshell, I'm conducting an exhaustive examination on my extensive sock collection to determine which pair, when worn (on my feet), promote the greatest heat retention in my pedal extremities. In essence, find which of my socks are the warmest.
This morning's candidate pair have leapt to the front of the pack. They're goddamn hot.
The purpose of this experiment, when all the political motives are boiled away, is pretty simple: Identify and rid myself of hot socks. It ain't cold enough for warm socks down here, yo.
Tonight - Homestead.
Lots of special guests tonight. Bring yr pals!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Nothing to see here....
10.3.2k8
Rant crapped out... again. But since I have nothing else to do, I repaired it.
CONGRATULATIONS Lee & Lily on the newest TNSC member - FRESH TODAY!!!
CONGRATULATIONS Tuesday and Dave on your impending nuptials this weekend!!!
Come celebrate tonight at - The Knockout!!
Play BINGO!!. Listen to "The Worst Music in the World"!! Feel the love.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
10.3.2k8
Rant crapped out... again. But since I have nothing else to do, I repaired it.
CONGRATULATIONS Lee & Lily on the newest TNSC member - FRESH TODAY!!!
CONGRATULATIONS Tuesday and Dave on your impending nuptials this weekend!!!
Come celebrate tonight at - The Knockout!!
Play BINGO!!. Listen to "The Worst Music in the World"!! Feel the love.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
The El Nino (tredux)
10.2.2k8
There's a kitchen in the place I work and on the wall of the kitchen there's a TV that's ALWAYS on and someone's ALWAYS watching it. I don't get it. I only rediscovered TV after getting TiVo and wresting control over what I watched and when I watched it. That made the mind-numbing a bit better because it was mind-numbing on MY SCHEDULE.
I mention the TV in the kitchen because I walked by it and someone was watching a program. In the time it took me to walk by I heard an intriguing snippet: " ... many people visit our Flavor Graveyard to pay homage to discontinued flavors they once enjoyed."
I got to my desk and googled "flavor graveyard" and got this.
An interesting list of dead ice cream flavors. I applaud the B&J for attempting some of them. The idea of a virtual graveyard gave me an idea to list the dead places the TNSC used to go.
Off the top of my head:
(The) El Bobo
The Overflo
20 Tanks
Pow!
There's more but I gotta stop there. It's too hard. We had many good times at those joints. And now word comes down that C. Bobby Cook, owner/operator of the venerable Owl Tree (venue of all holiday/"secret" meetings) has passed. He was a classic. This robot can only hope that his estab. survives him.
Tonight - One of San Francisco's oldest continually operating corner bars, The Elixir.
Elixir's "Cocktail Club" is hosting Wild Turkey/Russell's Reserve Master Distiller from 6-8, and Cooley Distillery's Global Ambassador from 8-10.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
10.2.2k8
There's a kitchen in the place I work and on the wall of the kitchen there's a TV that's ALWAYS on and someone's ALWAYS watching it. I don't get it. I only rediscovered TV after getting TiVo and wresting control over what I watched and when I watched it. That made the mind-numbing a bit better because it was mind-numbing on MY SCHEDULE.
I mention the TV in the kitchen because I walked by it and someone was watching a program. In the time it took me to walk by I heard an intriguing snippet: " ... many people visit our Flavor Graveyard to pay homage to discontinued flavors they once enjoyed."
I got to my desk and googled "flavor graveyard" and got this.
An interesting list of dead ice cream flavors. I applaud the B&J for attempting some of them. The idea of a virtual graveyard gave me an idea to list the dead places the TNSC used to go.
Off the top of my head:
(The) El Bobo
The Overflo
20 Tanks
Pow!
There's more but I gotta stop there. It's too hard. We had many good times at those joints. And now word comes down that C. Bobby Cook, owner/operator of the venerable Owl Tree (venue of all holiday/"secret" meetings) has passed. He was a classic. This robot can only hope that his estab. survives him.
Tonight - One of San Francisco's oldest continually operating corner bars, The Elixir.
Elixir's "Cocktail Club" is hosting Wild Turkey/Russell's Reserve Master Distiller from 6-8, and Cooley Distillery's Global Ambassador from 8-10.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Hubris (again).
10.1.2k8
For the overlord robot's failure (again), I hope that tonight that the Cubbies lose, and Palin wins.
Tonight - Specs'. Cheese & crackers!!
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
-Linkey Loo Robot
10.1.2k8
For the overlord robot's failure (again), I hope that tonight that the Cubbies lose, and Palin wins.
Tonight - Specs'. Cheese & crackers!!
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
-Linkey Loo Robot
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I hate Florida (again).
9.4.2k8
Waded into the express lane at the Ralph's yesterday w/ a cart full of junk. Didn't notice the sign until it was too late, then, when the cashier brought it to my attention, I didn't care.
Is that wrong?
Tonight - Homestead. Support your local tavern owners!!
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
9.4.2k8
Waded into the express lane at the Ralph's yesterday w/ a cart full of junk. Didn't notice the sign until it was too late, then, when the cashier brought it to my attention, I didn't care.
Is that wrong?
Tonight - Homestead. Support your local tavern owners!!
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wood
9.3.2k8
I read that the Flaming Lips song "Do You Realise?" is among the finalists as official rock song of the State of Oklahoma. Do you think if them hayseeds in OK have any idea how many hallucinogens the Lips have taken they'd consider them? I don't. Silly blue staters.
Tonight - Argus.
Or AAaaaaarrrrrrgus for International Talk Like a Pirate Day (tomorrow).
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
9.3.2k8
I read that the Flaming Lips song "Do You Realise?" is among the finalists as official rock song of the State of Oklahoma. Do you think if them hayseeds in OK have any idea how many hallucinogens the Lips have taken they'd consider them? I don't. Silly blue staters.
Tonight - Argus.
Or AAaaaaarrrrrrgus for International Talk Like a Pirate Day (tomorrow).
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Cripple Fight!
9.2.2k8
I once encountered a middle aged blonde woman driving dk green import suv.
It was Friday Aug 4, 2006, at approx 9:15 am.
I'm on westbound side Venice Bd. @ Hauser, in the left turn lane. I arrive at the left turn lane w/ several cars already there, so I wait through a light and then I'm first in line.
When the light turns green I ease out into the intersection, w/ my blinker on. The green suv pulls into the oncoming (eastbound) lane and the woman can be seen rummaging through something in the seat next to her. She soon produces a camera and begins to yell (I can see her mouth moving) and she drives right up to me, yelling and apparently snapping pictures. I don't have any idea what she's talking about. The light turns yellow and the oncoming cars stop and I complete my turn to northbound Hauser. In my rearview I can see her suv blocking the intersection and can hear the horns of the other cars. She turns in my direction and speeds up to catch me. At the first stop sign, I pull over to the right to let her pass or pull up to tell me what she's yelling about. She doesn't stop. She goes through the stop sign w/o stopping and then takes a right at San Vicente. I'm stopped at that light and a silver suv w/ a black woman driving pulls up and says, "She crazy!" I agreed with her and she too turned right onto eastbound SV. End of story.
Tonight - Club De Luxe.
Says AC: you're lame, you know....
He also says:
be patriotic and support your local burlesque before (the) All Queda trys to stop it
(wait... that's bad)
anyway... Little Minsky's performs
shows start at 10 - $5 cover
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
9.2.2k8
I once encountered a middle aged blonde woman driving dk green import suv.
It was Friday Aug 4, 2006, at approx 9:15 am.
I'm on westbound side Venice Bd. @ Hauser, in the left turn lane. I arrive at the left turn lane w/ several cars already there, so I wait through a light and then I'm first in line.
When the light turns green I ease out into the intersection, w/ my blinker on. The green suv pulls into the oncoming (eastbound) lane and the woman can be seen rummaging through something in the seat next to her. She soon produces a camera and begins to yell (I can see her mouth moving) and she drives right up to me, yelling and apparently snapping pictures. I don't have any idea what she's talking about. The light turns yellow and the oncoming cars stop and I complete my turn to northbound Hauser. In my rearview I can see her suv blocking the intersection and can hear the horns of the other cars. She turns in my direction and speeds up to catch me. At the first stop sign, I pull over to the right to let her pass or pull up to tell me what she's yelling about. She doesn't stop. She goes through the stop sign w/o stopping and then takes a right at San Vicente. I'm stopped at that light and a silver suv w/ a black woman driving pulls up and says, "She crazy!" I agreed with her and she too turned right onto eastbound SV. End of story.
Tonight - Club De Luxe.
Says AC: you're lame, you know....
He also says:
be patriotic and support your local burlesque before (the) All Queda trys to stop it
(wait... that's bad)
anyway... Little Minsky's performs
shows start at 10 - $5 cover
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Pretty Kitty
9.1.2k8
So am I supposed to be logged into Facebook like I'm logged into my email? Sit there and watch it and shit? This is not clear to me but some of the things I'm picking up about the FB suggest that many folks sit there and watch it. The goddang thing changes right before one's eyes with invites to "do the wave," or that Phil wrote on my wall or Betty's currently "bloaty." I'm resisting being a slave to my email and have been shutting it all the way off recently and turning it on only at specific times during the day. Now I don't jump when that "mail's in" klaxon sounds.
Now what about Twitter? Do I want or need that? Gawker? This blog is updated only once a week and while it contains a rant, most of you skip that and go right to the venue anyway, don't ya? Ain't you supposed to be devouring blog posts like so many Triscuits™? I think that's what we're supposed to be doing but I'm not sure: I live on the West Side.
Tonight - Jay & Bee's.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
9.1.2k8
So am I supposed to be logged into Facebook like I'm logged into my email? Sit there and watch it and shit? This is not clear to me but some of the things I'm picking up about the FB suggest that many folks sit there and watch it. The goddang thing changes right before one's eyes with invites to "do the wave," or that Phil wrote on my wall or Betty's currently "bloaty." I'm resisting being a slave to my email and have been shutting it all the way off recently and turning it on only at specific times during the day. Now I don't jump when that "mail's in" klaxon sounds.
Now what about Twitter? Do I want or need that? Gawker? This blog is updated only once a week and while it contains a rant, most of you skip that and go right to the venue anyway, don't ya? Ain't you supposed to be devouring blog posts like so many Triscuits™? I think that's what we're supposed to be doing but I'm not sure: I live on the West Side.
Tonight - Jay & Bee's.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Page
8.4.2k8
The weather is funky down here in LA by the beach. I coulda sworn it was rainy weather last night but I knew that was impossible as it never rains here in these months. We DID have some cool lightning a week or so ago - there was a big storm out over the bay/ocean and it was so high up we could see it pretty clearly. It was so damn far away, one could chug-a-lug a Miller High Life™ and open another between the time of the lightning and the thunder.
One time many years ago, a pal and I took some "medicine" and went to look for a high (get it) spot to watch a lightening storm in the desert hick-town I grew up in. We found a church. The place was lousy with churches. We scaled a fence, climbed a wall and I gave her a boost to get on the actual roof of the thing. You guessed it ... we got as close to the highest spot on the roof - the cross - to watch lightning. Shut up ... we were medicated. So as I was boosting her up, she somehow dug her bare foot (roger that: bare feet to boot) into a vent pipe of some sort and began bleeding all over the church roof. We had fun and wiped her bloody foot all over and in the process, got blood all over ourselves. The rain, accompanying the lightning storm and light till now, began to harden as the storm intensified and got closer. We took a clue and got down and went back to the party we had left. We walked in and, soaking wet and covered - literally - with blood, gave our pals a fright. Curious to us was that while our pals liked to fuck shit up, they didn't find it kinda cool and fun to look like Carrie after the prom. They made us clean up.
The gal and I ain't pals anymore, in case yr wondering. I'm friends with the rest of that groop still, though.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
8.4.2k8
The weather is funky down here in LA by the beach. I coulda sworn it was rainy weather last night but I knew that was impossible as it never rains here in these months. We DID have some cool lightning a week or so ago - there was a big storm out over the bay/ocean and it was so high up we could see it pretty clearly. It was so damn far away, one could chug-a-lug a Miller High Life™ and open another between the time of the lightning and the thunder.
One time many years ago, a pal and I took some "medicine" and went to look for a high (get it) spot to watch a lightening storm in the desert hick-town I grew up in. We found a church. The place was lousy with churches. We scaled a fence, climbed a wall and I gave her a boost to get on the actual roof of the thing. You guessed it ... we got as close to the highest spot on the roof - the cross - to watch lightning. Shut up ... we were medicated. So as I was boosting her up, she somehow dug her bare foot (roger that: bare feet to boot) into a vent pipe of some sort and began bleeding all over the church roof. We had fun and wiped her bloody foot all over and in the process, got blood all over ourselves. The rain, accompanying the lightning storm and light till now, began to harden as the storm intensified and got closer. We took a clue and got down and went back to the party we had left. We walked in and, soaking wet and covered - literally - with blood, gave our pals a fright. Curious to us was that while our pals liked to fuck shit up, they didn't find it kinda cool and fun to look like Carrie after the prom. They made us clean up.
The gal and I ain't pals anymore, in case yr wondering. I'm friends with the rest of that groop still, though.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Penguin.
8.3.2k8
Ya never know just by meeting a nice couple of folks whether they truly are a nice couple of folks or actually a couple of jerks with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
I wheeled up to the casa several months ago and there were a couple of people milling about with a clipboard not far away. They asked if I lived there as they walked closer. "Mebbe," I said, "whatcha wanna know for?" They said they owned the house right over there (pointing toward a boarded-up junker) and said they were fighting City Hall about the property line and whether they could build out and rehab the place. I said Hi and told 'em I rented. They poked their clipboard into my chest and asked me to sign their petition that told City Hall that their neighbors felt at ease with their building plans. I said, "I'll sign, on the condition that you chop down that dead tree and turn out to be good neighbors." They agreed, and declared they liked good neighbors themselves.
So a few weeks back they showed up with a chainsaw and a jackhammer and chopped down the tree and tore up the concrete. They waved hi and later flagged me down. "Whose cars are all these?" they asked, gesturing to the myriad cars parked in our area. I actually knew about most of them and told them. "Them two trucks are that guy's (pointing to the neighbor at the corner); that truck, that car and that other car are my upstairs neighbors'; those two SUVs are my other neighbors'; and I don't know whose Jeep™ that is." They nodded and said, "ok. What about that camper?" I said, "that's my father-in-law's, what about all this, you work for Parking and Traffic or something?" "No," they said, "just wondering."
Turns out they were wondering because they have a bunch of cars, campers and boats themselves and have since deposited every single one of them in the prime spots. To sit and moulder. Also, I'm really happy to find out that they swear and yell very loudly while rehabbing the house. In the past I wouldn't mind, but I got a kid now and I don't need him hearing that from them: I want him to hear it from ME and learn the proper way to swear.
Tonight - 500 Club.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
8.3.2k8
Ya never know just by meeting a nice couple of folks whether they truly are a nice couple of folks or actually a couple of jerks with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
I wheeled up to the casa several months ago and there were a couple of people milling about with a clipboard not far away. They asked if I lived there as they walked closer. "Mebbe," I said, "whatcha wanna know for?" They said they owned the house right over there (pointing toward a boarded-up junker) and said they were fighting City Hall about the property line and whether they could build out and rehab the place. I said Hi and told 'em I rented. They poked their clipboard into my chest and asked me to sign their petition that told City Hall that their neighbors felt at ease with their building plans. I said, "I'll sign, on the condition that you chop down that dead tree and turn out to be good neighbors." They agreed, and declared they liked good neighbors themselves.
So a few weeks back they showed up with a chainsaw and a jackhammer and chopped down the tree and tore up the concrete. They waved hi and later flagged me down. "Whose cars are all these?" they asked, gesturing to the myriad cars parked in our area. I actually knew about most of them and told them. "Them two trucks are that guy's (pointing to the neighbor at the corner); that truck, that car and that other car are my upstairs neighbors'; those two SUVs are my other neighbors'; and I don't know whose Jeep™ that is." They nodded and said, "ok. What about that camper?" I said, "that's my father-in-law's, what about all this, you work for Parking and Traffic or something?" "No," they said, "just wondering."
Turns out they were wondering because they have a bunch of cars, campers and boats themselves and have since deposited every single one of them in the prime spots. To sit and moulder. Also, I'm really happy to find out that they swear and yell very loudly while rehabbing the house. In the past I wouldn't mind, but I got a kid now and I don't need him hearing that from them: I want him to hear it from ME and learn the proper way to swear.
Tonight - 500 Club.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Great Tits
8.2.2k8
Since I'm not creative today, I'm going to have to leave this lame-ass Venue Announcement. For all of the new people that are receiving this, I apologize. But NEXT week... it'll be just like the old days. I may even throw in a "Historical Reenactment"!
Stay tuned. But until then, Enjoy:
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Show starts at 10pm. $5 cover for more entertainment than you can shake a tassel at!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
8.2.2k8
Since I'm not creative today, I'm going to have to leave this lame-ass Venue Announcement. For all of the new people that are receiving this, I apologize. But NEXT week... it'll be just like the old days. I may even throw in a "Historical Reenactment"!
Stay tuned. But until then, Enjoy:
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Show starts at 10pm. $5 cover for more entertainment than you can shake a tassel at!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Oh fishy fishy fish.
8.1.2k8
I'm going greener every goddamn day, yo. I recycle everything. I bike everywhere and I bring my own goddang grocery bags to Ralph's. I'm so enthusiastic about it I whip myself into some pretty sticky dilemmas:
If I have a paper napkin at the office, should I get one from the burrito truck or leave it for another yokel? Would me taking one from the wagon deprive another and therefore make the truck guy order more, the napkin guy make more, the forest guy deforest more and so on? I know yr supposed to re-use cloth napkins whenever possible, but what when it's not possible?
Should I buy every coffee mug I see at yard sales and donate them to the coffee shop so they can hand 'em out free instead of in paper cups? The typical paper cup lasts for one drink and is pitched. If on the OFF CHANCE I get a paper cup, I reuse that sucker until the glue delaminates. I usually carry a variety of ceramic cups with me. Ceramic cups and Thermoses™, bitches.
Tonight - Edinburgh Castle.
Ye Olde Chelsea and yesterday's Examiner call, yo!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
8.1.2k8
I'm going greener every goddamn day, yo. I recycle everything. I bike everywhere and I bring my own goddang grocery bags to Ralph's. I'm so enthusiastic about it I whip myself into some pretty sticky dilemmas:
If I have a paper napkin at the office, should I get one from the burrito truck or leave it for another yokel? Would me taking one from the wagon deprive another and therefore make the truck guy order more, the napkin guy make more, the forest guy deforest more and so on? I know yr supposed to re-use cloth napkins whenever possible, but what when it's not possible?
Should I buy every coffee mug I see at yard sales and donate them to the coffee shop so they can hand 'em out free instead of in paper cups? The typical paper cup lasts for one drink and is pitched. If on the OFF CHANCE I get a paper cup, I reuse that sucker until the glue delaminates. I usually carry a variety of ceramic cups with me. Ceramic cups and Thermoses™, bitches.
Tonight - Edinburgh Castle.
Ye Olde Chelsea and yesterday's Examiner call, yo!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Defenestration
7.5.2k8
The Summer Olympics are nearly upon us and I've got to turn you on to a drinking game one can play only once every two years, as it has to do with the Olympic games.
Rules for O PoN Drinking Game
The O PoN drinking game is the Olympics Parade of Nations game and it's played during the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games, whether they're Summer games or Winter games, and specifically during the Parade of Nations segment when the athletes march into the stadium behind the flag of the country they're representing at the games.
The game is played with players taking turns predicting the name of the next country to follow the one that just entered. Whether the guessing player is correct determines who drinks, and that is determined thusly:
SUMMER GAMES If the guessing player is correct, the other players drink. If incorrect, he or she drinks.
WINTER GAMES If the guessing player is correct, he or she drinks. If incorrect, the other players drink.
The goal of the game is to get shitty drunk. So if it's yr turn this August, and you aren't tanked yet, turf it: "That white flag with a big red meatball in the middle of it is ... the flag of Brazil!" You drink!
Hints:
Greece always goes first. That's a gimme and everyone drinks.
They march in a specific order that has to do with the language of the host country. If it's an English-speaking country, the parade goes in alphabetical English order. Same for French. Not sure what they're gonna do in China, so tune in and find out.
I'm posting this a week early because Lovely Longtime List Member Mark Bobek lives in China and he will be playing the O PoN DG as it happens on 08/08/08 while the rest of us wait for that peacock network to rebroadcast it on Friday, primetime.
Take pictures! YouTube!!
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
7.5.2k8
The Summer Olympics are nearly upon us and I've got to turn you on to a drinking game one can play only once every two years, as it has to do with the Olympic games.
Rules for O PoN Drinking Game
The O PoN drinking game is the Olympics Parade of Nations game and it's played during the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games, whether they're Summer games or Winter games, and specifically during the Parade of Nations segment when the athletes march into the stadium behind the flag of the country they're representing at the games.
The game is played with players taking turns predicting the name of the next country to follow the one that just entered. Whether the guessing player is correct determines who drinks, and that is determined thusly:
SUMMER GAMES If the guessing player is correct, the other players drink. If incorrect, he or she drinks.
WINTER GAMES If the guessing player is correct, he or she drinks. If incorrect, the other players drink.
The goal of the game is to get shitty drunk. So if it's yr turn this August, and you aren't tanked yet, turf it: "That white flag with a big red meatball in the middle of it is ... the flag of Brazil!" You drink!
Hints:
Greece always goes first. That's a gimme and everyone drinks.
They march in a specific order that has to do with the language of the host country. If it's an English-speaking country, the parade goes in alphabetical English order. Same for French. Not sure what they're gonna do in China, so tune in and find out.
I'm posting this a week early because Lovely Longtime List Member Mark Bobek lives in China and he will be playing the O PoN DG as it happens on 08/08/08 while the rest of us wait for that peacock network to rebroadcast it on Friday, primetime.
Take pictures! YouTube!!
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Zoom, Zip.
7.4.2k8
There's stealin' at work, then there's stealin'.
One of my team came to me and said someone snagged the iPod he left at his desk overnight. "What's more," he said, "it was hidden behind some books on the shelf, INSIDE a small box with some shit on top of it." He then added, "whoever snagged it had to look for it." My first thought was, "that fucker. I hate thieves." Second was, "you dumbass. Don't bring anything to work you'd be painfully and unwillingly parted from."
A day later I got some email that said "someone stole my PSP ... watch out!" It went on to explain that it happened in the time between when he went home the previous night and when he got to work in the am. The wee electronic device was secreted away at their workspace and the thief clearly had to search for it. As that had just happened to one of my guys, I thought about it for a second. The perpetrator had ACCESS and TIME. Access to be in the "secure" place he was in and to look as though he belonged there; and time to look around. The only people that had access and time at that time of night and early morning, sadly, are the custodial crew and the security guards. I didn't really care for this conclusion, because people in those roles are often hard, honest workers without a lot of options ... underdogs. Being a Chicago Cubs fan, I'm a natural supporter of underdogs.
The company's administrators sacked the custodial crew and the security guards. Then replaced them.
Then, as I said before, there's stealin'.
I worked at a joint in Chicago where we did a gawdawful lot of McDonald's commercials. Mostly effects-heavy "Ronald" spots and such. We had a ton of clients up in one of our sound suites supervising the audio mix for Happy Meal spots and they had brought along several full-color, full-sized prototypes of the new Happy Meal boxes. This "comp packaging," as it's called, is one-of-a-kind, unique, professionally constructed and therefore very, very expensive. Trouble is, it looks like a goddamned Happy Meal box. So, naturally when the asshole clients fucked off for the night, and left behind their comp packaging, the cleaning crew did their jobs and chucked out the empty Happy Meal boxes. The clients returned in the am. Heads rolled in the pm. Sad.
So there's stealin' at work, and then there's stealin'. Result's the same.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
7.4.2k8
There's stealin' at work, then there's stealin'.
One of my team came to me and said someone snagged the iPod he left at his desk overnight. "What's more," he said, "it was hidden behind some books on the shelf, INSIDE a small box with some shit on top of it." He then added, "whoever snagged it had to look for it." My first thought was, "that fucker. I hate thieves." Second was, "you dumbass. Don't bring anything to work you'd be painfully and unwillingly parted from."
A day later I got some email that said "someone stole my PSP ... watch out!" It went on to explain that it happened in the time between when he went home the previous night and when he got to work in the am. The wee electronic device was secreted away at their workspace and the thief clearly had to search for it. As that had just happened to one of my guys, I thought about it for a second. The perpetrator had ACCESS and TIME. Access to be in the "secure" place he was in and to look as though he belonged there; and time to look around. The only people that had access and time at that time of night and early morning, sadly, are the custodial crew and the security guards. I didn't really care for this conclusion, because people in those roles are often hard, honest workers without a lot of options ... underdogs. Being a Chicago Cubs fan, I'm a natural supporter of underdogs.
The company's administrators sacked the custodial crew and the security guards. Then replaced them.
Then, as I said before, there's stealin'.
I worked at a joint in Chicago where we did a gawdawful lot of McDonald's commercials. Mostly effects-heavy "Ronald" spots and such. We had a ton of clients up in one of our sound suites supervising the audio mix for Happy Meal spots and they had brought along several full-color, full-sized prototypes of the new Happy Meal boxes. This "comp packaging," as it's called, is one-of-a-kind, unique, professionally constructed and therefore very, very expensive. Trouble is, it looks like a goddamned Happy Meal box. So, naturally when the asshole clients fucked off for the night, and left behind their comp packaging, the cleaning crew did their jobs and chucked out the empty Happy Meal boxes. The clients returned in the am. Heads rolled in the pm. Sad.
So there's stealin' at work, and then there's stealin'. Result's the same.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I'm a dad!!!
7.2.2k8
No kidding!!! More details to follow. Meanwhile, check out the little burrito below!
And to celebrate, Radium/SF is sponsoring a cocktail gathering at VODA.
You never know what'll happen at one of the Ra events. Hell.... I met my "baby-mommy" at one!!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
7.2.2k8
No kidding!!! More details to follow. Meanwhile, check out the little burrito below!
And to celebrate, Radium/SF is sponsoring a cocktail gathering at VODA.
You never know what'll happen at one of the Ra events. Hell.... I met my "baby-mommy" at one!!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Happy Third!
7.1.2k8
Many places have their Independence Day celebs on the third of July. It's cheaper. ... or something.
Tonight, a place that will surely host a pleasant eve. - Lucky 13.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
7.1.2k8
Many places have their Independence Day celebs on the third of July. It's cheaper. ... or something.
Tonight, a place that will surely host a pleasant eve. - Lucky 13.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wife beater.
6.4.2k8
Since ranting a few weeks back about severely disliking non-professional internet reviews and comments of or about items, services, media and such, I've actually found myself reading more of them. Interesting to me is that I while some still irritate, some now amuse.
I've taken to really enjoying the kind of comment that starts with completely bullshit statement that has nothing to do with the issue at hand that instead attacks the other commentators. Here's an example: In a story about a former teacher that was convicted of planting threatening notes around a grade school for children and staff to find, many "regular folk" felt the urge to chime in and say, "what a sicko," and "I don't feel bad for her cuz she's a psycho" and the like. I've come to love the person that then chimes in with, "I guess you're all perfect and never made a mistake." I don't get where this urge to throw a mirror in people's faces and say, "yeah, well look at YOU, motherfucker, she may have derailed a train but you're not so great" comes from. What is it? Some Christian value? If so, I'm not sure Christian values are all that great.
Tonight - Homestead.
I removed the Rant Section because I think the engine died. It ain't there anymore at any rate.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.4.2k8
Since ranting a few weeks back about severely disliking non-professional internet reviews and comments of or about items, services, media and such, I've actually found myself reading more of them. Interesting to me is that I while some still irritate, some now amuse.
I've taken to really enjoying the kind of comment that starts with completely bullshit statement that has nothing to do with the issue at hand that instead attacks the other commentators. Here's an example: In a story about a former teacher that was convicted of planting threatening notes around a grade school for children and staff to find, many "regular folk" felt the urge to chime in and say, "what a sicko," and "I don't feel bad for her cuz she's a psycho" and the like. I've come to love the person that then chimes in with, "I guess you're all perfect and never made a mistake." I don't get where this urge to throw a mirror in people's faces and say, "yeah, well look at YOU, motherfucker, she may have derailed a train but you're not so great" comes from. What is it? Some Christian value? If so, I'm not sure Christian values are all that great.
Tonight - Homestead.
I removed the Rant Section because I think the engine died. It ain't there anymore at any rate.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Do you dig graves?
6.3.2k8
It's been more frequent than not lately that I write the Venue Announcement over my lunch break and so I'll dedicate this VA to lunch itself.
I have a couple favorite things to do for lunch. I like to take it as late as possible. I learned a long time ago that a late lunch makes the end of the day seem to come more quickly, so I generally don't eat until after 1pm, even later if possible.
I also like, scratch that, LOVE to have BFL. That, if you and I have never lunched together, stands for Breakfast For Lunch. Sure, people have been eating breakfast foods for lunch and even dinner for a meeeelion years, but have they held it in such reverence that they built it into an institution? I wouldn't think so.
Lastly, I love to ask Alan to find out what goes into a "Kari's Favorite" style sandwich when he rings me on his cell either on his way to or at Cafe Moda in SF. We went to Moda damn-near every day for years when we worked together at the sawmill, and if I wasn't having a tuna on sourdough or a large ceasar w/ extra bread, I was having a Kari's Favorite. It's truly delicious, and I remember exactly what goes in it but I ask Alan every time. I say it's to check and see if it's changed or if I've forgotten something, but really it's to irritate him. Don't tell him.
Anyway, all this talk about lunch has made me hungry. I'm afraid I don't have any Kari's Favorites, tuna sandys or ceasars today and I only grabbed a can of soup on the way out of the apartment as I was in a rush. I'm gonna crack it open and micro it in a minute. But I'm not so sure about this new flavor from the venerable Campbell's company.
I'll let ya know how it turns out.
Tonight - Knockout SF.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.3.2k8
It's been more frequent than not lately that I write the Venue Announcement over my lunch break and so I'll dedicate this VA to lunch itself.
I have a couple favorite things to do for lunch. I like to take it as late as possible. I learned a long time ago that a late lunch makes the end of the day seem to come more quickly, so I generally don't eat until after 1pm, even later if possible.
I also like, scratch that, LOVE to have BFL. That, if you and I have never lunched together, stands for Breakfast For Lunch. Sure, people have been eating breakfast foods for lunch and even dinner for a meeeelion years, but have they held it in such reverence that they built it into an institution? I wouldn't think so.
Lastly, I love to ask Alan to find out what goes into a "Kari's Favorite" style sandwich when he rings me on his cell either on his way to or at Cafe Moda in SF. We went to Moda damn-near every day for years when we worked together at the sawmill, and if I wasn't having a tuna on sourdough or a large ceasar w/ extra bread, I was having a Kari's Favorite. It's truly delicious, and I remember exactly what goes in it but I ask Alan every time. I say it's to check and see if it's changed or if I've forgotten something, but really it's to irritate him. Don't tell him.
Anyway, all this talk about lunch has made me hungry. I'm afraid I don't have any Kari's Favorites, tuna sandys or ceasars today and I only grabbed a can of soup on the way out of the apartment as I was in a rush. I'm gonna crack it open and micro it in a minute. But I'm not so sure about this new flavor from the venerable Campbell's company.
I'll let ya know how it turns out.
Tonight - Knockout SF.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Old Man Hunger
6.2.2k8
I got a weakness for birds and have found a way to feed a flock of sparrows, a group of finches, a pair of doves and occasionally a couple of crows. There's a ledge of sorts outside the window of my office (which is actually the western wall of the room), and the glass is mirrored primarily for insulation and secondarily for privacy. There's not really anyone milling about in the fenced, secure carpark beyond the glass, so there's not a real need for privacy, but the mirror does provide a nice bird blind so the birds come right up to the glass and feed, water and bathe themselves ... all inches away from my chair.
I first put the seeds out several months ago and the sparrows found them right away. Back then I had a pile on the ledge and a pile on the ground. After witnessing a fuzzy little mouse helping himself to seeds from the ground pile, I curbed that and only put seeds on the ledge. Then I got a dish for a large clay pot and filled it with water for a low-profile bird bath. Soon the sparrows took to that too.
After a while, a pair of doves came and have since come every day. I also noticed that there was a large group of finches in the carpark on the other side of this building, so I began to put out sunflower seeds to lure them over (they frikkin' LOVE sunflower seeds). Sure enough, they found them and are now regular customers.
I've had to take a stand, however, and forbid pigeons from joining the fun. One pigeon will bring another. Then another and soon they will be swarming the place. That's when the cars in the carpark get shit all over and the complaints start and my little oasis is closed by management. I'm gonna try to keep that from happening by discriminating against that goddamn pigeon. Sad but true: The pigeon is the thomeless of the bird world.
Tonight - The EL RIO.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.2.2k8
I got a weakness for birds and have found a way to feed a flock of sparrows, a group of finches, a pair of doves and occasionally a couple of crows. There's a ledge of sorts outside the window of my office (which is actually the western wall of the room), and the glass is mirrored primarily for insulation and secondarily for privacy. There's not really anyone milling about in the fenced, secure carpark beyond the glass, so there's not a real need for privacy, but the mirror does provide a nice bird blind so the birds come right up to the glass and feed, water and bathe themselves ... all inches away from my chair.
I first put the seeds out several months ago and the sparrows found them right away. Back then I had a pile on the ledge and a pile on the ground. After witnessing a fuzzy little mouse helping himself to seeds from the ground pile, I curbed that and only put seeds on the ledge. Then I got a dish for a large clay pot and filled it with water for a low-profile bird bath. Soon the sparrows took to that too.
After a while, a pair of doves came and have since come every day. I also noticed that there was a large group of finches in the carpark on the other side of this building, so I began to put out sunflower seeds to lure them over (they frikkin' LOVE sunflower seeds). Sure enough, they found them and are now regular customers.
I've had to take a stand, however, and forbid pigeons from joining the fun. One pigeon will bring another. Then another and soon they will be swarming the place. That's when the cars in the carpark get shit all over and the complaints start and my little oasis is closed by management. I'm gonna try to keep that from happening by discriminating against that goddamn pigeon. Sad but true: The pigeon is the thomeless of the bird world.
Tonight - The EL RIO.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Just do it.
6.1.2k8
I'm listening to one of my iTunes libraries appropriately known as "Crazy iTunes" and a track by Flossie & the Unicorns comes up randomly. The track is called "Free Guitar Lessons For Animals" and it's just as nutty as you'd think by the band's name and the track's title. F&tU are very loosly a band in normal terms, as they're run by an artist who's a puppet-show maven and the album, "LMNOP," could easily be the soundtrack to a really great, whacked-out puppet show.
So as I often do, I google F&tU to read a bit about them. No surprise that the Amazon page selling the album comes up. I click on it and begin to read the "reviews." Oh man.
I wish that 90% of the people who feel compelled to review everything under the sun would, um, fucking NOT. Opinions are like ... oh you know the rest. Seriously, though, a non-professional review of a juicer ("thing did not frikkin' JUICE too good") might come in handy, and a fan's review of the new Ween release ("better than "Chocolate and Cheese"") might be worth looking into for oneself, but the reviews of "LMNOP" were not handy or helpful. Rather, they pissed me off.
A few of my least fav: "I could have made this record. Literally. At least twenty of the little sound effects used here can be found on my Casio keyboard ... " Uh ... then shut up and make it, buttwipe. "I can honestly say this is the worst music I have ever listened to in my entire life. My 3 year old brother could make better music than this." Uh ... lighten up and change it. Yr not being forced to listen to it, are you? And especially: "i thought that this had something to do with the unicorns ..." Do yr frikkin' homework, stupid.
I'm the kinda guy that flicks the song off if it sucks. I don't pen hate mail. Who has the time? Just sayin' ...
Tonight - ARGUS Lounge.
And from the wise souls on the intertubes ...
Sage words, indeed.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.1.2k8
I'm listening to one of my iTunes libraries appropriately known as "Crazy iTunes" and a track by Flossie & the Unicorns comes up randomly. The track is called "Free Guitar Lessons For Animals" and it's just as nutty as you'd think by the band's name and the track's title. F&tU are very loosly a band in normal terms, as they're run by an artist who's a puppet-show maven and the album, "LMNOP," could easily be the soundtrack to a really great, whacked-out puppet show.
So as I often do, I google F&tU to read a bit about them. No surprise that the Amazon page selling the album comes up. I click on it and begin to read the "reviews." Oh man.
I wish that 90% of the people who feel compelled to review everything under the sun would, um, fucking NOT. Opinions are like ... oh you know the rest. Seriously, though, a non-professional review of a juicer ("thing did not frikkin' JUICE too good") might come in handy, and a fan's review of the new Ween release ("better than "Chocolate and Cheese"") might be worth looking into for oneself, but the reviews of "LMNOP" were not handy or helpful. Rather, they pissed me off.
A few of my least fav: "I could have made this record. Literally. At least twenty of the little sound effects used here can be found on my Casio keyboard ... " Uh ... then shut up and make it, buttwipe. "I can honestly say this is the worst music I have ever listened to in my entire life. My 3 year old brother could make better music than this." Uh ... lighten up and change it. Yr not being forced to listen to it, are you? And especially: "i thought that this had something to do with the unicorns ..." Do yr frikkin' homework, stupid.
I'm the kinda guy that flicks the song off if it sucks. I don't pen hate mail. Who has the time? Just sayin' ...
Tonight - ARGUS Lounge.
And from the wise souls on the intertubes ...
Sage words, indeed.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Indie
5.5.2k8
Hi pals. Some words of caution if visiting Venice, CA: Try not to crash into out-of-control skateboarders.
The hell, you may ask. It's very simple. If a skateboarder is recklessly careening down the sidewalk, having botched a simple maneuver or some such, and he's about to crash, be careful not to complicate things by being on the sidewalk too. You may make contact. You may be in the wrong place at the right time.
And it would be your fault.
Just sayin'.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
5.5.2k8
Hi pals. Some words of caution if visiting Venice, CA: Try not to crash into out-of-control skateboarders.
The hell, you may ask. It's very simple. If a skateboarder is recklessly careening down the sidewalk, having botched a simple maneuver or some such, and he's about to crash, be careful not to complicate things by being on the sidewalk too. You may make contact. You may be in the wrong place at the right time.
And it would be your fault.
Just sayin'.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Honorable Mention
4.5.2k8
I'm in the wrong industry. Why I made a list of things I need to ship and the people I need to ship them to and I have a note card frikkin' FILLED. It's too much to do in one try so I'm going about it piecemeal. I got the big thing I needed to ship out of the way (a Mac to a die-hard Microsoft user -- should be a fun bunch of reports from that one), and even with all 40 pounds of it gone, I still have a lot to do. I should go into the shipping biz.
Of course, once I thought of changing gigs, I began to pay attention to those companies that are already doing it and became discouraged. FedEx, UPS and that bastard third-stringer DHL all have a ton of gear necessary to ship commercially. Trucks, vans, boxes, stickers, barcodes, planes, tracking numbers ... it's all too much to compete with.
Got to come up with another get-out scheme.
Tonight - Lucky 13.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
4.5.2k8
I'm in the wrong industry. Why I made a list of things I need to ship and the people I need to ship them to and I have a note card frikkin' FILLED. It's too much to do in one try so I'm going about it piecemeal. I got the big thing I needed to ship out of the way (a Mac to a die-hard Microsoft user -- should be a fun bunch of reports from that one), and even with all 40 pounds of it gone, I still have a lot to do. I should go into the shipping biz.
Of course, once I thought of changing gigs, I began to pay attention to those companies that are already doing it and became discouraged. FedEx, UPS and that bastard third-stringer DHL all have a ton of gear necessary to ship commercially. Trucks, vans, boxes, stickers, barcodes, planes, tracking numbers ... it's all too much to compete with.
Got to come up with another get-out scheme.
Tonight - Lucky 13.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Black Oven
5.3.2k8
Don't take the following post the wrong way: I'm not about to turn the TNSC Venue Announcement into a food blog. That being said, I will now share with you a recipe essential to all Lovely List Members: Frito™ Pie.
Here we go.
Get you these ingredients: A sac of Fritos™ (original flavor); an onion (and chop it); two cans of chili; cheddar cheese (shred it); and some toppings for adding after cooking (pictured here: Tabasco™, sliced jalapenos and sour cream).
Grease and line a square baking dish (preferably glass). Put down a layer of Fritos™. Use 2/3 of the bag.
Layer on shredded cheddar to cover.
Gently layer on the chili so as not to disturb the Frito™ layer. Then add chopped onions.
Add the last 1/3 of the bag of Fritos™ and bake at 350º F for 25 - 30 minutes or until the Fritos™ brown and the chili is bubbly.
Remove from oven and top with more shredded cheese. Bake this or broil just to melt the cheese.
Dish out, top with goodness and eat the whole goddamn thing. It reheats well if ya can't eat it all at once.
Tonight - The Orbit Room.
Enjoy the former TNSC HQ on the hottest day of the year so far, says AC. Get some pics of the cocktails and send 'em in, ok?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
5.3.2k8
Don't take the following post the wrong way: I'm not about to turn the TNSC Venue Announcement into a food blog. That being said, I will now share with you a recipe essential to all Lovely List Members: Frito™ Pie.
Here we go.
Get you these ingredients: A sac of Fritos™ (original flavor); an onion (and chop it); two cans of chili; cheddar cheese (shred it); and some toppings for adding after cooking (pictured here: Tabasco™, sliced jalapenos and sour cream).
Grease and line a square baking dish (preferably glass). Put down a layer of Fritos™. Use 2/3 of the bag.
Layer on shredded cheddar to cover.
Gently layer on the chili so as not to disturb the Frito™ layer. Then add chopped onions.
Add the last 1/3 of the bag of Fritos™ and bake at 350º F for 25 - 30 minutes or until the Fritos™ brown and the chili is bubbly.
Remove from oven and top with more shredded cheese. Bake this or broil just to melt the cheese.
Dish out, top with goodness and eat the whole goddamn thing. It reheats well if ya can't eat it all at once.
Tonight - The Orbit Room.
Enjoy the former TNSC HQ on the hottest day of the year so far, says AC. Get some pics of the cocktails and send 'em in, ok?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Great Tits
5.2.2k8
If I watch "Dancing with the Stars" and "Big Brother" and really like McCain and really love KFC and Subway and think George W. is cool and don't know what it's like to feel and act and think like a person that's not a fucking jerk, then I might drive a truck that has a giant tank on it along with a vacuum and go around clearin' sewerpipes and port-o-lets and people's clogged septic tanks.
And I might drive this truck down a residential street at top speed so I can catch up to the lone bicyclist on that street, only to apply the brakes when I'm just ahead of him or her and thoroughly but THOROUGHLY gas him or her the fuck OUT with the sewage stench from the tank and tubes and truck and parts.
If I'm not that guy, I might be the other guy. The guy on the bike.
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Says Linkey Loo Robot:
"it's Little Minsky's 3rd Anniversary show where there will be 2x as many pasties as there are performers"
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
5.2.2k8
If I watch "Dancing with the Stars" and "Big Brother" and really like McCain and really love KFC and Subway and think George W. is cool and don't know what it's like to feel and act and think like a person that's not a fucking jerk, then I might drive a truck that has a giant tank on it along with a vacuum and go around clearin' sewerpipes and port-o-lets and people's clogged septic tanks.
And I might drive this truck down a residential street at top speed so I can catch up to the lone bicyclist on that street, only to apply the brakes when I'm just ahead of him or her and thoroughly but THOROUGHLY gas him or her the fuck OUT with the sewage stench from the tank and tubes and truck and parts.
If I'm not that guy, I might be the other guy. The guy on the bike.
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Says Linkey Loo Robot:
"it's Little Minsky's 3rd Anniversary show where there will be 2x as many pasties as there are performers"
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Nashville
5.1.2k8
Not the Robert Altman film. But a special guest out from that locale.
Tonight - Doc's Clock.
Be there. On Time.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
5.1.2k8
Not the Robert Altman film. But a special guest out from that locale.
Tonight - Doc's Clock.
Be there. On Time.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Crony
4.4.2k8
Ya might remember a Venue Announcement from about a month ago. It was the story of a magic Peet's™ coffee cup.
A few days after posting this sucker, I went to Peet's™ to replenish my coffee supply. I bought four pounds of whole beans (this 4lb. order got me some strange looks from the staff, believe it or not. I said, "what's with the strange looks?" They said that's an awful lot of beans. I thought fast and said, "I'm going camping." They said, "wow! How long? A couple weeks?" I said, "no. Overnight," and got a whole lot more strange looks. I said camping makes me thirsty and left the store.)
Getting home, I noticed that one of the bags had a sticker advertising a Peet's "Why I love Peet's™" contest that had folks write in why they loved Peet's™ and if their story was chosen, they could win a year's supply of coffee for themselves and their pals. I figured this contest was in the bag, because there was likely no better proclamation of love for Peet's™ than a ridiculous story of a magic coffee cup that made non-Peet's™ coffee taste like shit when it was really that non-Peet's™ coffee actually DID taste like shit. So I took out the swear-word and submitted the Venue Announcement to the contest and waited.
I didn't win. I should have known better. I should have written in some bullshit about being stuck in the rain or being a first-year intern in the ER and that was why I love Peet's™ and I would have won like these doorknobs.
I unsubscribed from the spam that I knew that signing up for a contest would bring. Optional reason for unsubscribing: "Your contest judges are inept."
Tonight - Homestead.
Go support your local bar. These are rare things in SF these days.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
4.4.2k8
Ya might remember a Venue Announcement from about a month ago. It was the story of a magic Peet's™ coffee cup.
A few days after posting this sucker, I went to Peet's™ to replenish my coffee supply. I bought four pounds of whole beans (this 4lb. order got me some strange looks from the staff, believe it or not. I said, "what's with the strange looks?" They said that's an awful lot of beans. I thought fast and said, "I'm going camping." They said, "wow! How long? A couple weeks?" I said, "no. Overnight," and got a whole lot more strange looks. I said camping makes me thirsty and left the store.)
Getting home, I noticed that one of the bags had a sticker advertising a Peet's "Why I love Peet's™" contest that had folks write in why they loved Peet's™ and if their story was chosen, they could win a year's supply of coffee for themselves and their pals. I figured this contest was in the bag, because there was likely no better proclamation of love for Peet's™ than a ridiculous story of a magic coffee cup that made non-Peet's™ coffee taste like shit when it was really that non-Peet's™ coffee actually DID taste like shit. So I took out the swear-word and submitted the Venue Announcement to the contest and waited.
I didn't win. I should have known better. I should have written in some bullshit about being stuck in the rain or being a first-year intern in the ER and that was why I love Peet's™ and I would have won like these doorknobs.
I unsubscribed from the spam that I knew that signing up for a contest would bring. Optional reason for unsubscribing: "Your contest judges are inept."
Tonight - Homestead.
Go support your local bar. These are rare things in SF these days.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
BAVC
4.3.2k8
Here's an old press release from PG&E:
TNSC Robot and Linkey Loo Robot both remember this very well. We remember it because the whole "no power" thing meant only one thing to us: COFFEE CRISIS.
The barnyard where we worked had fairly decent coffee but was brewed in an electric coffee system, and thus offline. The coffee kart down in the lobby suffered the same setback. Sure you could get bagels and OJ, but lattes, cappys and regular cups of joe were unavailable. Linkey Loo Robot, assessing the situ in his caffeine-deprived mode, as it was, came up with a wicked solution: Gas! "Gas?" I asked. "Yes! Gas!" he said. "A gas stove can boil water and I know where there's a gas stove closeby!" "Brilliant!" I yelled and we ran for his car.
After a quick push-start, we bolted for the place with a gas stove ... hoping that his hunch was true and that SLOW CLUB would be the coffee oasis he imagined. And luck was with us, as were all the street lights (because they were out), and when we made the turn off Potrero onto Mariposa Street, we saw a short line at the door to Slow Club. That could mean but one thing: Coffee.
And coffee it was. Hot, bitter, delicious, life-sustaining coffee. The staff at Slow Club were being very fair and not gouging us with disaster-inflated prices, and they did us ALL a service by limiting each customer to two large cups. LL Robot and I got two each and shared with our unfortunate brothers back at the hog farm where we worked.
The day was salvaged by LL Robot's quick thinking and Slow Club's Wolf range. Hoo-ray.
This look back is brought to you by tonight's venue: - Bigfoot Lodge.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
4.3.2k8
Here's an old press release from PG&E:
December 8, 1998
At approximately 8:15 a.m. today, a major outage originated at PG&E’s San Mateo Substation. The outage affected approximately 375,000 customers from San Mateo north to, and including parts of, San Francisco.
The cause of the outage was simple human error, which then triggered a complex sequence of events.
The Mayor’s office of San Francisco and the various department heads for the City have provided both guidance and assistance in ensuring San Francisco residents and businesses come back on line as fast as possible. With the full cooperation of the City, we have been able to restore power safely, effectively and quickly.
Full restoration of power to affected customers was completed this afternoon by 2:15 p.m.
TNSC Robot and Linkey Loo Robot both remember this very well. We remember it because the whole "no power" thing meant only one thing to us: COFFEE CRISIS.
The barnyard where we worked had fairly decent coffee but was brewed in an electric coffee system, and thus offline. The coffee kart down in the lobby suffered the same setback. Sure you could get bagels and OJ, but lattes, cappys and regular cups of joe were unavailable. Linkey Loo Robot, assessing the situ in his caffeine-deprived mode, as it was, came up with a wicked solution: Gas! "Gas?" I asked. "Yes! Gas!" he said. "A gas stove can boil water and I know where there's a gas stove closeby!" "Brilliant!" I yelled and we ran for his car.
After a quick push-start, we bolted for the place with a gas stove ... hoping that his hunch was true and that SLOW CLUB would be the coffee oasis he imagined. And luck was with us, as were all the street lights (because they were out), and when we made the turn off Potrero onto Mariposa Street, we saw a short line at the door to Slow Club. That could mean but one thing: Coffee.
And coffee it was. Hot, bitter, delicious, life-sustaining coffee. The staff at Slow Club were being very fair and not gouging us with disaster-inflated prices, and they did us ALL a service by limiting each customer to two large cups. LL Robot and I got two each and shared with our unfortunate brothers back at the hog farm where we worked.
The day was salvaged by LL Robot's quick thinking and Slow Club's Wolf range. Hoo-ray.
This look back is brought to you by tonight's venue: - Bigfoot Lodge.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Irate
4.2.2k8
CUBS WIN!!!! CUBS WIN!!!!
In 15 innings, no less.
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
As uzsh, them suggestive Burlsesque gals are peelin' it over at Deluxe. Get there early! TNSC member Jason Porter will be meeting his future ex-wife.
$5 cover.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
4.2.2k8
CUBS WIN!!!! CUBS WIN!!!!
In 15 innings, no less.
Tonight - Club Deluxe.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
As uzsh, them suggestive Burlsesque gals are peelin' it over at Deluxe. Get there early! TNSC member Jason Porter will be meeting his future ex-wife.
$5 cover.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Quaker
4.1.2k8
Wow! Do we have a space-related problem at home: We got none. What with my little wife's rock collection, bobbin collection, vintage hairbrush collection, piggybank collection, playing card collection, salt-and-shaker collection, bicycle tool collection, jelly jar collection, encyclopedia set collection, newspaper collection, comic book collection, manilla folder collection, paid bills collection, paper doll collection, furniture collection, mustard spoon collection, short pants collection, velcro strip collection, zipper pull collection, beer can collection, ethernet cable collection and gummy bear collection, we have no room for baby clothes.
Tonight - ELIXIR SF.
Some notes:
Come meet Maker's Mark™ Master Distiller Dave Pickerell as he pours and talks about his great whisky (that's right, they don't use the "e") and distillery.
AND!!! Your very own Lee Lee the Musical Bee is in SF tonight and will be in attendence tonight!
Don't miss it!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
4.1.2k8
Wow! Do we have a space-related problem at home: We got none. What with my little wife's rock collection, bobbin collection, vintage hairbrush collection, piggybank collection, playing card collection, salt-and-shaker collection, bicycle tool collection, jelly jar collection, encyclopedia set collection, newspaper collection, comic book collection, manilla folder collection, paid bills collection, paper doll collection, furniture collection, mustard spoon collection, short pants collection, velcro strip collection, zipper pull collection, beer can collection, ethernet cable collection and gummy bear collection, we have no room for baby clothes.
Tonight - ELIXIR SF.
Some notes:
Come meet Maker's Mark™ Master Distiller Dave Pickerell as he pours and talks about his great whisky (that's right, they don't use the "e") and distillery.
AND!!! Your very own Lee Lee the Musical Bee is in SF tonight and will be in attendence tonight!
Don't miss it!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Garuda
3.4.2k8
My little wife has some really good friends at work. I know this because I stole one of the xmas gifts they gave her and it is awesome: It is a magic coffee cup.
It is a simple-looking eight-ounce glazed porcelain job. Cream-colored, it's more narrow than wide and it has a sturdy handle with enough room for two fingers while balanced for one-finger holding.
Its simple decoration is merely the stately Peet's Coffee & Tea logo in dark (French Roast) brown. I believe that this logo is the source of the magic coffee cup's magic.
Here's why: If I pour anything other than Peet's Coffee into the thing, the coffee tastes like shit. Weird, huh?
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.4.2k8
My little wife has some really good friends at work. I know this because I stole one of the xmas gifts they gave her and it is awesome: It is a magic coffee cup.
It is a simple-looking eight-ounce glazed porcelain job. Cream-colored, it's more narrow than wide and it has a sturdy handle with enough room for two fingers while balanced for one-finger holding.
Its simple decoration is merely the stately Peet's Coffee & Tea logo in dark (French Roast) brown. I believe that this logo is the source of the magic coffee cup's magic.
Here's why: If I pour anything other than Peet's Coffee into the thing, the coffee tastes like shit. Weird, huh?
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Ursa Minor
3.3.2k8
Some time ago I subscribed to the Word-of-the-day RSS feed from dictionary.com. It started with a clunk, as the words were criminally easy (bucolic, sycophant, conflagration, malapropism), but soon coughed up some of interest (appurtenance, empyrean, coterminous).
Like most of America, Mississippians love their cars. Most folks have two or three to themselves (and yes, some do park 'em on their front lawns), and they drive them cars FAST.
Another thing that bugs me about the book so far is the author’s style. His style is nothing less than pompous. He goes into intense detail to show off his word-smithery.
Whoa! How's that for a rant? Here's another:
Tonight - Lucky 13.
And some bonus Jason Porter "pr0n"
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Go Cubs!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.3.2k8
Some time ago I subscribed to the Word-of-the-day RSS feed from dictionary.com. It started with a clunk, as the words were criminally easy (bucolic, sycophant, conflagration, malapropism), but soon coughed up some of interest (appurtenance, empyrean, coterminous).
Like most of America, Mississippians love their cars. Most folks have two or three to themselves (and yes, some do park 'em on their front lawns), and they drive them cars FAST.
Another thing that bugs me about the book so far is the author’s style. His style is nothing less than pompous. He goes into intense detail to show off his word-smithery.
Whoa! How's that for a rant? Here's another:
Tonight - Lucky 13.
And some bonus Jason Porter "pr0n"
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Go Cubs!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Back.
3.2.2k8
Hello again everyone after an absence. Robot is working to finalize a new TNSC web item so I'm going to leave it short. Better than nothing.
Tonight - House of Shields.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.2.2k8
Hello again everyone after an absence. Robot is working to finalize a new TNSC web item so I'm going to leave it short. Better than nothing.
Tonight - House of Shields.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy VD!!
2.2.2k8
History Lesson.
The Elders have canceled tonight's meeting.
Oh ...
Happy VD indeedy!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
2.2.2k8
History Lesson.
The Elders have canceled tonight's meeting.
Oh ...
Happy VD indeedy!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Vesuvio
2.1.2k8
On advice of my clergyman, my alderman, my garbageman and on the insistence of my little wife, I'm quittin' drinkin'.* So as a fond farewell to that which has cost me untold cash and brain cells, here's a few awesome drinkin' stories from years gone by.
The local bar to one of my Chicago apartments was called the Oasis. On my 21st birthday I called the little Serbian bartendress a "human rodent." She actually served me after that.
The Oasis, or "The O" affectionately, had the best goddamn football game special ever: 25 cent hotdogs and dollar pitchers of Old Style during Bears games. (Other games were regular price beers and dogs.) I could stretch out a fin for the entire game and stagger home on the cheap.
I didn't and don't frequent titty-bars much at all, but happened to be at one with my best friend Phil in Arizona. We watched the show and appreciated both the hard rock the gals danced to as well as their "grace" on stage. The cocktail waitress came around and we each ordered a Coors Light. She came back with EIGHT Coors Lights and set them down on our table. We asked her why she brought eight and she said, "oh. It's four-for-one during Alice in Chains songs." Rain When I Die will always mean four-for-one to me.
The night before an early-morning Saturday shift I sat at Bar Louie and ate sausage sandwiches with EXTRA hot peppers and drank Jack Daniels until 2am. Oh my frikkin' gawd the shift came early. Can't remember if I booted. Can't remember much past the sausage sandys and JD, to be frank.
*Have fun and stay sick!
Tonight - Lone Palm.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
2.1.2k8
On advice of my clergyman, my alderman, my garbageman and on the insistence of my little wife, I'm quittin' drinkin'.* So as a fond farewell to that which has cost me untold cash and brain cells, here's a few awesome drinkin' stories from years gone by.
The local bar to one of my Chicago apartments was called the Oasis. On my 21st birthday I called the little Serbian bartendress a "human rodent." She actually served me after that.
The Oasis, or "The O" affectionately, had the best goddamn football game special ever: 25 cent hotdogs and dollar pitchers of Old Style during Bears games. (Other games were regular price beers and dogs.) I could stretch out a fin for the entire game and stagger home on the cheap.
I didn't and don't frequent titty-bars much at all, but happened to be at one with my best friend Phil in Arizona. We watched the show and appreciated both the hard rock the gals danced to as well as their "grace" on stage. The cocktail waitress came around and we each ordered a Coors Light. She came back with EIGHT Coors Lights and set them down on our table. We asked her why she brought eight and she said, "oh. It's four-for-one during Alice in Chains songs." Rain When I Die will always mean four-for-one to me.
The night before an early-morning Saturday shift I sat at Bar Louie and ate sausage sandwiches with EXTRA hot peppers and drank Jack Daniels until 2am. Oh my frikkin' gawd the shift came early. Can't remember if I booted. Can't remember much past the sausage sandys and JD, to be frank.
*Have fun and stay sick!
Tonight - Lone Palm.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Brought to you by ...
1.5.2k8
The product-placement avalanche that's saturated the media has finally caught up to the TNSC website. I've accepted some offers from various product ... er ... producers in exchange for ... er ... I dunno. Peace of mind? It's all tied up in contract negotiation and frankly, I fall asleep at the first mention of a "reasonable person" or "estoppel." I don't know precisely what the lawyers are doing, but they're a crack team and couldn't possibly screw it up.
I do know that you aren't gonna see me holding up a box of Tide™, although when I did laundry I used that brand. You won't see enjoying Malt-o-Meal™ ... ever. On a related note, I praise the decision-making behind our family NOT being an Ovaltine™ family when I was a child. I would never endorse it. That shit is nasty.
It's an exciting development and I can't wait to share the many promised rewards with you beautiful people.
Peace out!
Tonight - Homestead.
Five TNSC meetings this month ... how many did YOU attend?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.5.2k8
The product-placement avalanche that's saturated the media has finally caught up to the TNSC website. I've accepted some offers from various product ... er ... producers in exchange for ... er ... I dunno. Peace of mind? It's all tied up in contract negotiation and frankly, I fall asleep at the first mention of a "reasonable person" or "estoppel." I don't know precisely what the lawyers are doing, but they're a crack team and couldn't possibly screw it up.
I do know that you aren't gonna see me holding up a box of Tide™, although when I did laundry I used that brand. You won't see enjoying Malt-o-Meal™ ... ever. On a related note, I praise the decision-making behind our family NOT being an Ovaltine™ family when I was a child. I would never endorse it. That shit is nasty.
It's an exciting development and I can't wait to share the many promised rewards with you beautiful people.
Peace out!
Tonight - Homestead.
Five TNSC meetings this month ... how many did YOU attend?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Not for long.
1.4.2k8
Some famous actor did too many drugs and ended up dead. Some thousands of people who couldn't afford to buy a house up and bought houses, only to default on the loans and help contribute to the economy's slide into the pit. I hear over and over how sad it all is. I'm afraid I ain't all that sad.
Dude, ya get yr ass addicted to heavy drugs, a consequence - a forseable consequence - is winding up dead from them. Shocker!
My little wife and I have discussed buying a house and determined that even with our salaries, zero debt and no dependents we COULD NOT afford a house. So we didn't buy one and didn't default on our loan. Shocker number 2!
I'm a bit weary of all this sadness for bullshit decisions people make. As I said, I ain't sad. If I had to borrow a feeling, it would be pity.
I pity the foo' who takes too many drugs and drops. I pity the foo' buyin' houses when they can't afford it.
T was so right with his generous pity.
Tonight - just like the booze ... Jay & Bee's.
Don your mustache, and come on out and with lil' Timmy Pries a Happy 30th Birthday!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.4.2k8
Some famous actor did too many drugs and ended up dead. Some thousands of people who couldn't afford to buy a house up and bought houses, only to default on the loans and help contribute to the economy's slide into the pit. I hear over and over how sad it all is. I'm afraid I ain't all that sad.
Dude, ya get yr ass addicted to heavy drugs, a consequence - a forseable consequence - is winding up dead from them. Shocker!
My little wife and I have discussed buying a house and determined that even with our salaries, zero debt and no dependents we COULD NOT afford a house. So we didn't buy one and didn't default on our loan. Shocker number 2!
I'm a bit weary of all this sadness for bullshit decisions people make. As I said, I ain't sad. If I had to borrow a feeling, it would be pity.
I pity the foo' who takes too many drugs and drops. I pity the foo' buyin' houses when they can't afford it.
T was so right with his generous pity.
Tonight - just like the booze ... Jay & Bee's.
Don your mustache, and come on out and with lil' Timmy Pries a Happy 30th Birthday!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
River Thames
1.3.2k8
I've been in a war with my college roommate for some time now. I don't know for sure when or how it started, but I know I just won.
Early in our relationship, when we were, in fact, college roommates in a dorm, we would spent every weekday evening in front of the tele watching reruns of "Hill Street Blues" on WGN. A great show, to be sure, but commercial television always had something going against it: Commercials. I've hated them forever, despite the irony of working in commercial post-production for many, many years. I made the most of the commercial breaks by calling every toll-free number , stating my name as my roommate's name - Phil - and ordering the money-back-guaranteed, free 90-day-trial of whatever product was advertised, all the while Phil sat listening to everything I said. He only shook his head and waited for Hill, Renko, Belcher and Capt. Furino to come back to us.
Days or weeks later the goods would arrive: Hair Club for Men™ demo videos, applications to Space Camp™, DiDiSeven™ stain-remover samples. A Clapper™. A Salad Spinner™. A Bowflex™ (Phil got kinda riled at that one.)
That we haven't lived together for some time has certainly slowed the frequency of me shipping him random things, but the dog still hunts: I sent him a package last week that contained an item costing $7.50 and requiring $6.50 in shipping, but it was worth it: I didn't know or care if Phil had a ball-pein hammer because he was gonna get one.
He got it a week later and called. "You've outdone yourself," he said, "never in a million years would I guessed that the box addressed to 'Assistant Herb Strewer Phil' contained what it did. I can think of a thousand uses for it and what's more, I know how to spell 'pein' now."
Missio Accomplishio.
Tonight - The El Knockout SF.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
"Worst Music Ever"
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.3.2k8
I've been in a war with my college roommate for some time now. I don't know for sure when or how it started, but I know I just won.
Early in our relationship, when we were, in fact, college roommates in a dorm, we would spent every weekday evening in front of the tele watching reruns of "Hill Street Blues" on WGN. A great show, to be sure, but commercial television always had something going against it: Commercials. I've hated them forever, despite the irony of working in commercial post-production for many, many years. I made the most of the commercial breaks by calling every toll-free number , stating my name as my roommate's name - Phil - and ordering the money-back-guaranteed, free 90-day-trial of whatever product was advertised, all the while Phil sat listening to everything I said. He only shook his head and waited for Hill, Renko, Belcher and Capt. Furino to come back to us.
Days or weeks later the goods would arrive: Hair Club for Men™ demo videos, applications to Space Camp™, DiDiSeven™ stain-remover samples. A Clapper™. A Salad Spinner™. A Bowflex™ (Phil got kinda riled at that one.)
That we haven't lived together for some time has certainly slowed the frequency of me shipping him random things, but the dog still hunts: I sent him a package last week that contained an item costing $7.50 and requiring $6.50 in shipping, but it was worth it: I didn't know or care if Phil had a ball-pein hammer because he was gonna get one.
He got it a week later and called. "You've outdone yourself," he said, "never in a million years would I guessed that the box addressed to 'Assistant Herb Strewer Phil' contained what it did. I can think of a thousand uses for it and what's more, I know how to spell 'pein' now."
Missio Accomplishio.
Tonight - The El Knockout SF.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
"Worst Music Ever"
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Dragonfly
1.2.2k8
Ever since the mighty google took over this blogger site my life has been great. All the racehorses I bet on come in winners. The injured crow that I rescued from the gutter seconds before the street sweeper got him is now happily flying around the apartment, raining death from above down on our two miscreant kitties. My job picked up and moved two blocks closer to home and installed a gourmet kitchen - a teaching kitchen - and now we learn to make crepes and watch demos of turducken assembly while waiting on renders.
My allergies have gone away. I stumbled upon a drug deal gone wrong, found the suitcase full of cash and I don't have a dutchboy-coiffed Spaniard with a pneumatic bolt-gun on my tail. The Perrier™ doesn't make me burp.
My landlord is installing wood flooring. The heater constantly emits the roasting dust stench I love so much.
Google is my pal. It has brought me wonder and joy. Much like tonight's venue used to.
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Time to get out of that wet weather and into a dry martini.
Lots of "out of town" guests. Bring your friends.
That is all.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.2.2k8
Ever since the mighty google took over this blogger site my life has been great. All the racehorses I bet on come in winners. The injured crow that I rescued from the gutter seconds before the street sweeper got him is now happily flying around the apartment, raining death from above down on our two miscreant kitties. My job picked up and moved two blocks closer to home and installed a gourmet kitchen - a teaching kitchen - and now we learn to make crepes and watch demos of turducken assembly while waiting on renders.
My allergies have gone away. I stumbled upon a drug deal gone wrong, found the suitcase full of cash and I don't have a dutchboy-coiffed Spaniard with a pneumatic bolt-gun on my tail. The Perrier™ doesn't make me burp.
My landlord is installing wood flooring. The heater constantly emits the roasting dust stench I love so much.
Google is my pal. It has brought me wonder and joy. Much like tonight's venue used to.
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Time to get out of that wet weather and into a dry martini.
Lots of "out of town" guests. Bring your friends.
That is all.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Psychiatric Help
1.1.2k8
Was the same Republican scumbag jerk who spun "Global Warming" into "Climate Change" and the "Estate Tax" into the "Death Tax" the same douchebag who found that the word "Sale" was too uncouth a description for the period of time they were to offer the cars at their dealership at a reduced price? Seems to me the same lump of asshole-like brain was behind all of the above. No, no, says he, no I will not call my car sale a car sale. Why, these cars are christing LEXUSes. L. EX. U. S. "Luxury EXport U.S." They do not go on sale. There may well be a HAPPENING in which their price is reduced. There may be such an EVENT. Yes. An event! Our upper-class customers won't go to a sale, but they will attend a motherfucking EVENT!!
But everything's an event now. Not only the Caddys, Mercs and Lexuses. The Jeeps, Miatas and Saabs have events now, rather than sales. The toy stores, Best Buys and Sears only have events. The Thai menu on my doorknob has coupons for curry events. The dentist has filling events. I'm sick of it. I'm gonna build a kiosk and have a good old-fashioned lemonade sale on my street. Sale price? Fo-free!
Tonight - Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.1.2k8
Was the same Republican scumbag jerk who spun "Global Warming" into "Climate Change" and the "Estate Tax" into the "Death Tax" the same douchebag who found that the word "Sale" was too uncouth a description for the period of time they were to offer the cars at their dealership at a reduced price? Seems to me the same lump of asshole-like brain was behind all of the above. No, no, says he, no I will not call my car sale a car sale. Why, these cars are christing LEXUSes. L. EX. U. S. "Luxury EXport U.S." They do not go on sale. There may well be a HAPPENING in which their price is reduced. There may be such an EVENT. Yes. An event! Our upper-class customers won't go to a sale, but they will attend a motherfucking EVENT!!
But everything's an event now. Not only the Caddys, Mercs and Lexuses. The Jeeps, Miatas and Saabs have events now, rather than sales. The toy stores, Best Buys and Sears only have events. The Thai menu on my doorknob has coupons for curry events. The dentist has filling events. I'm sick of it. I'm gonna build a kiosk and have a good old-fashioned lemonade sale on my street. Sale price? Fo-free!
Tonight - Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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